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Setting Boundaries 101

2/2/2023

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​We only get one life. The sooner you set boundaries and start living life on your terms the sooner you’ll enjoy a fulfilling life of purpose. Let’s dive on!
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Where Did You Learn Your Beliefs From?

2/2/2023

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Many of us have never truly stopped and asked ourselves about our beliefs or why we do the things we do. Whether it’s tradition, religion, or just how we live life, the career path we choose, the schools or clubs we join. . .

​Are we really doing those things because we discovered it on our own for ourselves?

Or did we pick it up from our family, friends, and community and just keep going with the flow because that’s what everyone else was doing and how we were raised?

As human beings we are creatures of social interaction and any time a member tries to question what the majority does they are often “silenced” in effort to protect the way things are. In today’s video,

I’d like to challenge you to look inward and challenge any notions or beliefs you may have held onto about yourself from your childhood.
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Trauma Biologically Changes Your Body ‼️

1/21/2023

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You’re not truly living life if you still carry unaddressed trauma around. It just keeps you stuck living in the past instead of being excited for what the future brings.

In this video we cover reparenting yourself and the 5 steps I used to start my self-healing journey.

​Heal your trauma.
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Shape your Destiny: Mentally, Physically, Emotionally

1/18/2023

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You are the foundation for every and any relationship you’ll ever have. Its important for those of us who have been traumatized by our families to take an active role in our healing journey and seek the help needed to work past the obstacles

Our overall wellbeing consists of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Let’s talk about how you can start to get all 3 in tune after trauma.

​Heal your trauma

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Parenting 101: The Importance of Meeting Your Developing Child’s Emotional & Mental Health Needs

1/18/2023

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In this video let’s talk about what it REALLY means to be a parent, the vital important roles of the mother, and how a child’s mental health develops in those early stages. Heal your trauma!

​To purchase a HIS guide and start your self-healing journey use this link:  
https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p22/hishealingbasicguide.html
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8 Safety Tips for Solo Woman Travelers

1/18/2023

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Today’s post is especially for you aspiring female travelers, regardless of your experience safety is ALWAYS top priority! Here are some of my safety measures to ensure I spend my trips enjoying new cultures versus stressing over not becoming a headline.

  • Especially for beginners, when it comes to traveling solo you should start out in one of two ways. The first way is to get comfortable traveling to places solo in areas that you’re already comfortable in and familiar with. This can be done locally at home or in a different city/state within the same country. The second way to go about it is to travel with a reputable group that hosts various traveling experiences. Both methods allow you to get out of your comfort zone and gradually build up your confidence in how you respond in situations. Solo travel doesn’t mean you need to always go it alone!

  • ​​Ladies, please do NOT go to countries where women are treated as second-class citizens alone. It’s just not smart, especially where there is a language barrier, and you are totally dependent on others (who will be mostly men by default). That’s just asking for trouble and setting yourself up to be miserable and unsafe. Just don’t do it! No matter how experienced you are traveling solo. In places like those, you need to coordinate having a hired personal guide with you and/or ensure you have connections well in advance to make the most of your trip.

  • Buy locks for your room door and learn how to use them. Let’s be real. You won’t always pick the best hotel or living situation for your destination and sometimes you may be tight on the budget. I’m in no way recommending booking the cheapest rooms (more on that later) but in the event you make have made a hasty decision or didn’t have many options due to an unplanned situation/emergency (i.e. canceled flight, you got sick) than knowing how to use the locks on your door will help add a layer of security and peace of mind. I found some on Amazon here.

  • Personally, I advise you don’t skimp on the hotel. I know, I know. You want to put as much money towards the experiences and food you plan on enjoying. But the hotel is part of the experience as well! You won’t enjoy your travels so much if you are worried about where you’re sleeping and recuperating your strength. There is no price on your safety, so please do your research and if you must skimp on the hotel make sure it’s not in a sketchy area.

  • Don’t walk around with all your cash or valuables when you can avoid it. If you’re not in transit to the airport try to only carry enough cash for the day. Don’t keep all your cash or credit cards in one purse or wallet because if for any reason you get robbed it puts you in a tight spot. People recommend making copies of your credit cards and keeping all documents and cash that isn’t needed in the safe at your hotel. Anything you need to carry with you I recommend keeping in a small purse/bag that you can wear in front (if wearing a backpack wear it in front of you while in transit) of you, preferably with a zipper, not something that’s so easy for a seasoned pickpocket to access. There are locks for backpacks on Amazon which you can find here for added safety.

  • Ladies, personally I believe our safety is sooo important which is why I HIGHLY recommend you book a private driver or arrange for a private transport well in advance of your trip! The difference between a driver and transport (aside from the cost) is how long you need them. Typically, a transport is only for to/from like from the airport to your hotel, while a driver is like a chauffeur. It is a big added expense, but it’s worth it IMO because the price is set (you’re not worried about the local cabs taking advantage of you, which they will!), you are dealing with a reputable company (do your research), you don’t need to worry about finding a new cab, getting lost across multiple public transits, and being in a car with a random stranger driving you around someplace you don’t know. The peace of mind is priceless and I highly recommend you put as much effort into planning your transition to and from all places (hotel, airport, experiences, food) with a reputable driver or tour hosting company. Research, research, research, and book in advance with preferably a travel credit card so you can avoid foreign transaction fees and have the added protective layer of your credit card company in case of a dispute. Use Uber over a taxi and when you must use a taxi ALWAYS negotiate and agree on the price BEFORE you set foot inside the car or you will get scammed!

  • Close second to having a personal driver is hiring a personal tour guide. If you do your research you can find smaller tour companies that are flexible and offer to provide a custom itinerary based on what you’d like to do. Do your research and shop around. They can double as your photographer for catching content, save you time by navigating to your destinations quickly, and provide that added layer of security. You may prefer to have another woman with you and if so request that specifically. If you’re like me and like to plan for maximum success and experiences, the time you’ll save by having a personal guide is well worth the investment.

  • Another great tip is to research any scams, protests, and extremist groups in the places you plan on visiting so you know which areas to avoid or exercise more caution. Use YouTube, Google, and your country’s embassy for alerts and warnings before you go. It’s also a great idea to register with your country’s embassy so someone there is aware of your location in event of an emergency. You can do this online.

Lastly, when asked you are ALWAYS with someone (preferably a boyfriend or husband, but a brother or girlfriend may work if you meet a cute guy. Still be careful because you don't know him well yet). You NEVER want to give the impression that you are alone to avoid predators looking to take advantage. You are always in transit or someone (a man) is waiting for you to meet or check in with them soon. If someone is asking for details simply say "I don't want to talk about that right now" to avoid discomfort from probing or them calling bluff. Shoot a quick text or call to someone you know letting them know you're getting in a cab and/or where you're heading. Make it obvious so the cab driver is aware you are in touch with a network looking out for your safety.

I’ve created the perfect itinerary for solo female travelers with all the deets on how to plan your day-by-day (time, locations/sites, hotels, transports, airports, outfits to wear, costs, literally everything!) in various countries! Let me take all the stress out of planning your next (or first) big trip by using one of my HIS Travel Guides. You can visit the store by clicking HERE.

Using my HIS travel guides you literally just have to follow my easy-to-follow templates, book your trip, pack accordingly and go! You can even make your own adjustments to the itinerary.

Traveling the world is definitely something I believe we all should do because it makes us all better, self-aware individuals. The fact we are women and maybe traveling alone shouldn’t scare us from having and experiencing new adventures that can improve our lives!

Are there any more safety tips you can offer? Please share them with the community in the comments below!

Please travel safely!

HEALING IS SEXY: Custom Trip Itinerary by Mel

$150.00

Would you like me to plan your perfect trip? Too easy! Tell me where you're heading and fill out a brief survey so I can have an idea of the things you like to do. I will take care of all the research and provide you a done-for-you itinerary for a 3-4 day trip.


Each itinerary also include up to 3 HIS healing exercises for your trip.


*This fee only pays for the digital itinerary you will receive via email. It does not involve me booking anything for you.


**Please note trips that exceed 3-4 days and/or are international (outside of the USA) will incur and additional charge

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HEALING IS SEXY: Tampa Travel Guide

$55.00

Use my literally-done-for-you HIS travel guide to plan your next vacation experience! My guides are are PACKED with daily, easy to follow recommendations for planning your travel activities, your instragammable looks & feed, as well as healing prompts/challenges to incorporate personal growth.


Traveling has always been one of the best ways to heal, grow, and expand individually and show up as your higher self in the world around you. Let me show you how to do it in luxury!


*Price includes taxes


Download digital file. Due to digital nature of this content this purchase is non-refundable. Must download file within 30 days from purchase.

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HEALING IS SEXY: 17 Conversations To Cut The Small Talk

$41.00

Tired of boring conversations in dating? Or just unsure of what to say to sound interesting?


Use this conversational guide to impress your date with intriguing questions that actually help you get to know each other and move things forward in the right direction.


Here's to experiencing more fulfilling conversations in your love life!


*Price includes taxes

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My Favorite SHEIN Looks In Florida

12/29/2022

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Hey guys! So as my travels start to pick up I figured I'd share some on why I really love the SHEIN brand for meeting my traveling needs.

For starters, their clothing is super cute and super affordable! If you know, you know.

Now, while there are times the quality of the material may be lacking (I've received some dresses where one side was longer than the other and I spent waaaay more than I should have taking it to get altered compared to what I paid for the dresses or the material may not be the best) overall I would, and still do continue to shop there.

Many people complain about how thin some of the material is . . . I say it's all about your perspective, because honey, to me that just means I can pack more in my carry-on, no checked bags lifestyle! As a tip, if anything is too see-through layer up and wear black undergarments beneath.

My first favorite look on my recent trip to Florida is this two piece, super comfortable off-white outfit. The skirt is long and flowy and the bubbly top also added to my chill vibes. On this particular day I had so much fun indulging my inner child in various activities (more on that in my HIS Tampa travel guide). 

Here's what the outfit looks like, full effect.
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My second favorite look was actually this sexy bikini set in yellow for the beach. Super cute! SHEIN has been really great about shipping and lucky for me their packages always arrive earlier than estimated, so this arrived just in time for me to take with me!
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Finally, the last of my favorite looks I'd like to share with you is this white, crop top outfit with baggy cargo pants. I looooove these comfortable cargo pants! Perfect for a travel day, which is how I intend to use them in the future!
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To see all of the SHEIN looks I went for on my trip to Tampa you can check out my HIS Tampa Travel guide to get inspiration for you next trip and detailed itineraries on where to eat, what to see, and how to plan the perfect vacation!

More travel blogs coming soon!

Mel

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How Do I Parent My Inner Child?

11/28/2022

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In this video I discuss who your inner child is and how you become a parent to them.

Any questions, please comment below!

​Shop the guide:
https://www.healingissexylife.com/shop.html
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What is EUP (Emotionally Unavailable Parenting)?

11/27/2022

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In this video I break down what EUP is and how it impacts your adulthood and relationships.

​Any questions, comment below!
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3 Ways to Stop Abandoning Yourself In Any Relationship

11/24/2022

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It's human nature (ego/self-preservation)​ to place blame on everyone else instead of holding ourselves accountable for the experiences we may be having. Instead of setting proper boundaries that honor our authentic feelings and our inner child we blame others for making us feel guilty if we don't keep them happy.


​What's really happening is we're abandoning ourselves when we don't hold ourselves accountable for enforcing our boundaries.


Emotionally unavailable parenting isn't just something our parents may have done to us. We may be doing the same parenting to ourselves and our inner child.


Who Is Your Inner Child?
Your inner child is the younger version of you, your voice, that's always still there experiencing your everyday life in your adult body. Your inner voice and feelings didn't just go away because you "grew up" in your physical body. Often times we still have some emotional and mental growth to do, so it's best to not mistake physical, outward growth with internal growth.


What Is Parenting?
Parenting is more than just providing yourself or a loved one with basic survival needs. That's only one aspect of parenting responsibilities. True parenting is teaching yourself and your child to feel safe in fostering relationships and how to sustain those connections.


We are social creatures. Newborn babies will literally die without social interaction from another source within a certain time frame. At the heart of parenting is teaching ourselves and our children to form healthy relationship bonds with themselves as well as with others.


How to Know If You're Abandoning Your Inner Child
The fastest way to know without a shadow of a doubt you're self-abandoning is when you lack boundaries and/or you're too afraid to speak up about them. This usually results in a cycle of beating yourself up for not standing up for yourself, guilt-tripping if you semi-stand up for yourself, and just overall all not feeling good about yourself regardless of what you do.


When you're not afraid to set boundaries, and more importantly, enforce said boundaries then you feel good about yourself and you allow the other adults to be responsible for their emotions and reactions. You stop carrying the responsibility of worrying about how others will feel or what they will think when you stick to your boundaries. This is quite a liberating feeling!


Real quick, here are 3 tips on how to stop abandoning yourself:


#1 Heal
Healing will always be the foundational basis for everything, because it connects you to your authentic self, which is the source all your future decisions will flow from, including your boundaries! Healing will provide you the clarity you need to set boundaries and enforce them without feeling guilty about it!


#2 Set Boundaries
Now, this can be super hard for you, especially if you've never set boundaries before and grew up in an environment that conditioned you to be a people-pleaser and have no boundaries. Society has taught you that having boundaries means disappointing the people who "love" you and who you're "supposed" to never disappoint. The reality is boundaries are based on your authentic self and needs and are meant to protect you and your peace of mind. Think about it this way, are you going to be happier in relationships where you can be your authentic self and your boundaries are respected? Or are you going to stay miserable hiding your true feelings and feeling guilty if you don't support people who don't think twice about taking from you without returning the favor?


#3 Make Yourself A Priority
My final tip on ways to avoid self-abandonment is going to be to stop putting yourself last. It is not noble to treat yourself as an option, because you are teaching others to treat you like an option. The #1 person who should be showing up for you and cheering you on isn't your partner/spouse, your parents, your circle of family, and friends. It's YOU! No matter who else in life that's abandoning you, you gotta be there for yourself regardless. You do this by making your healing a priority so you have the blueprint and future road map to keep yourself a priority. Being a priority isn't selfish at all. It's simply teaching yourself and others that you matter and while you're here on this earth, how you will be treated should they be blessed to be considered a part of your circle.

SHOP THE GUIDE!
Looking for affordable, inexpensive therapy? Look no further than starting your HIS lifestyle with of my guidebook! This is a great start to uncovering your root issues (the why & how to understanding your behavior).

​If you find yourself unhappy, struggling in relationships, repeating toxic cycles, attracted to narcissistic individuals, the empathetic doormat who everyone depends on but no one is there for you, and so much more these guides will be the start of literally changing your life and/or deepening your self-healing/love journey!

​Here's to your Sexy! 💋

HEALING IS SEXY: 5 ESSENTIALS TO START YOUR SELF-HEALING JOURNEY - FULL WORKBOOK

$55.00

Begin your HIS journey with my 5 step process on how to self-heal. Take the next step in becoming your BEST self so you can start to experience happier, healthier relationships & live a fuller life. Healing your trauma doesn't have to be scary, lonely, or frustrating! Let my guide help you. 


This therapy session will:


  • Reconnect you with your inner child
  • Help you start healing the underlying trauma that's been ruining your happiness
  • Help you replace patterns that's been ruining your love life with best practices for attracting healthy partners
  • Unlearn thinking that doesn't serve you and learn how to form secure attachments to experience healthy intimate relationships
  • Help you heal from your childhood of emotionally unavailable parenting (EUPs)


33 easy-to-follow pages that provide a solid foundation for your healing journey without overwhelming. 


Speed up your self-healing journey and see results faster with this clear, simple, easy to navigate, step-by-step guide that will help you get straight to the root of your trauma and develop a concise plan of action! 


BONUS: Get 21 Ways to Date Yourself FREE with purchase


Download digital file. Due to digital nature of this content this purchase is non-refundable. Must download file within 30 days from purchase.


*Price includes taxes

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    About The Author

    Mel Williams is the creator of Healing Is Sexy (HIS) lifestyle., showing you how focusing on SELF can change your life & romance for the BEST! She's been working with singles & couples since 2017.

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