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We only get one life. The sooner you set boundaries and start living life on your terms the sooner you’ll enjoy a fulfilling life of purpose. Let’s dive on!
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Many of us have never truly stopped and asked ourselves about our beliefs or why we do the things we do. Whether it’s tradition, religion, or just how we live life, the career path we choose, the schools or clubs we join. . .
Are we really doing those things because we discovered it on our own for ourselves? Or did we pick it up from our family, friends, and community and just keep going with the flow because that’s what everyone else was doing and how we were raised? As human beings we are creatures of social interaction and any time a member tries to question what the majority does they are often “silenced” in effort to protect the way things are. In today’s video, I’d like to challenge you to look inward and challenge any notions or beliefs you may have held onto about yourself from your childhood. You’re not truly living life if you still carry unaddressed trauma around. It just keeps you stuck living in the past instead of being excited for what the future brings.
In this video we cover reparenting yourself and the 5 steps I used to start my self-healing journey. Heal your trauma. You are the foundation for every and any relationship you’ll ever have. Its important for those of us who have been traumatized by our families to take an active role in our healing journey and seek the help needed to work past the obstacles Our overall wellbeing consists of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Let’s talk about how you can start to get all 3 in tune after trauma. Heal your trauma Parenting 101: The Importance of Meeting Your Developing Child’s Emotional & Mental Health Needs1/18/2023 In this video let’s talk about what it REALLY means to be a parent, the vital important roles of the mother, and how a child’s mental health develops in those early stages. Heal your trauma! To purchase a HIS guide and start your self-healing journey use this link: https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p22/hishealingbasicguide.html In this video I discuss who your inner child is and how you become a parent to them.
Any questions, please comment below! Shop the guide: https://www.healingissexylife.com/shop.html In this video I break down what EUP is and how it impacts your adulthood and relationships.
Any questions, comment below!  It's human nature (ego/self-preservation) to place blame on everyone else instead of holding ourselves accountable for the experiences we may be having. Instead of setting proper boundaries that honor our authentic feelings and our inner child we blame others for making us feel guilty if we don't keep them happy. What's really happening is we're abandoning ourselves when we don't hold ourselves accountable for enforcing our boundaries. Emotionally unavailable parenting isn't just something our parents may have done to us. We may be doing the same parenting to ourselves and our inner child. Who Is Your Inner Child? Your inner child is the younger version of you, your voice, that's always still there experiencing your everyday life in your adult body. Your inner voice and feelings didn't just go away because you "grew up" in your physical body. Often times we still have some emotional and mental growth to do, so it's best to not mistake physical, outward growth with internal growth. What Is Parenting? Parenting is more than just providing yourself or a loved one with basic survival needs. That's only one aspect of parenting responsibilities. True parenting is teaching yourself and your child to feel safe in fostering relationships and how to sustain those connections. We are social creatures. Newborn babies will literally die without social interaction from another source within a certain time frame. At the heart of parenting is teaching ourselves and our children to form healthy relationship bonds with themselves as well as with others. How to Know If You're Abandoning Your Inner Child The fastest way to know without a shadow of a doubt you're self-abandoning is when you lack boundaries and/or you're too afraid to speak up about them. This usually results in a cycle of beating yourself up for not standing up for yourself, guilt-tripping if you semi-stand up for yourself, and just overall all not feeling good about yourself regardless of what you do. When you're not afraid to set boundaries, and more importantly, enforce said boundaries then you feel good about yourself and you allow the other adults to be responsible for their emotions and reactions. You stop carrying the responsibility of worrying about how others will feel or what they will think when you stick to your boundaries. This is quite a liberating feeling! Real quick, here are 3 tips on how to stop abandoning yourself: #1 Heal Healing will always be the foundational basis for everything, because it connects you to your authentic self, which is the source all your future decisions will flow from, including your boundaries! Healing will provide you the clarity you need to set boundaries and enforce them without feeling guilty about it! #2 Set Boundaries Now, this can be super hard for you, especially if you've never set boundaries before and grew up in an environment that conditioned you to be a people-pleaser and have no boundaries. Society has taught you that having boundaries means disappointing the people who "love" you and who you're "supposed" to never disappoint. The reality is boundaries are based on your authentic self and needs and are meant to protect you and your peace of mind. Think about it this way, are you going to be happier in relationships where you can be your authentic self and your boundaries are respected? Or are you going to stay miserable hiding your true feelings and feeling guilty if you don't support people who don't think twice about taking from you without returning the favor? #3 Make Yourself A Priority My final tip on ways to avoid self-abandonment is going to be to stop putting yourself last. It is not noble to treat yourself as an option, because you are teaching others to treat you like an option. The #1 person who should be showing up for you and cheering you on isn't your partner/spouse, your parents, your circle of family, and friends. It's YOU! No matter who else in life that's abandoning you, you gotta be there for yourself regardless. You do this by making your healing a priority so you have the blueprint and future road map to keep yourself a priority. Being a priority isn't selfish at all. It's simply teaching yourself and others that you matter and while you're here on this earth, how you will be treated should they be blessed to be considered a part of your circle. SHOP THE GUIDE! Looking for affordable, inexpensive therapy? Look no further than starting your HIS lifestyle with of my guidebook! This is a great start to uncovering your root issues (the why & how to understanding your behavior). If you find yourself unhappy, struggling in relationships, repeating toxic cycles, attracted to narcissistic individuals, the empathetic doormat who everyone depends on but no one is there for you, and so much more these guides will be the start of literally changing your life and/or deepening your self-healing/love journey! Here's to your Sexy! 💋 HEALING IS SEXY: 5 ESSENTIALS TO START YOUR SELF-HEALING JOURNEY - FULL WORKBOOK
$55.00
Begin your HIS journey with my 5 step process on how to self-heal. Take the next step in becoming your BEST self so you can start to experience happier, healthier relationships & live a fuller life. Healing your trauma doesn't have to be scary, lonely, or frustrating! Let my guide help you. This therapy session will:
33 easy-to-follow pages that provide a solid foundation for your healing journey without overwhelming. Speed up your self-healing journey and see results faster with this clear, simple, easy to navigate, step-by-step guide that will help you get straight to the root of your trauma and develop a concise plan of action! BONUS: Get 21 Ways to Date Yourself FREE with purchase Download digital file. Due to digital nature of this content this purchase is non-refundable. Must download file within 30 days from purchase. *Price includes taxes  Our Black community has suffered generational trauma, that unfortunately still remains prevalent in too many of our households to this day. There is no one size fits all scenario or solution. But our healing must begin and it starts with each of us becoming more aware of how our childhood is still showing up in our adult lives. What Is Emotionally Unavailable Parenting (EUP)? First, emotionally unavailable parenting means regardless of whether or not your parents were physically present in the home or in your life, you still didn't connect with them in a deep, meaningful way. This usually happens because our parents were too busy working multiple jobs, taking care of all our siblings, struggling with substance abuse, living too far away, or maybe didn't want to share any part of our lives so they physically abandoned us as well. How & Why It Happens As we already covered, emotionally unavailable parenting happens because our parents are caught up in their own lives and struggles. But it also happens like clockwork because that's how our society has largely conditioned us to operate. We aren't taught how to be actively present parents. We are taught to chase a bag and provide for our families, and we get praised for sacrificing valuable time we could spend at home bonding with our loved ones. We don't get the flexibility to go to our kids' games or school programs. Instead, we're asked to work later to meet the company's deadline or we choose to pick up overtime for more pay. We've normalized sacrificing the time our children need to learn how to form healthy emotional connections. Often seemingly out of necessity and survival mode. But this is costing us big time in the long run as we continue to experience the cycle of broken homes and lives within our community. We've got to break the cycle and right now the only way I see more of us winning is if we come together as a community to support and uplift one another, so we can all win. Both now and in our future generations. Here are 3 quick steps to start repairing the damage done by your parent's emotionally unavailable parenting. #1: Heal Healing isn't a band-aid you slap on and keep pushing yourself through life, ignoring the constant drama or hurt you're experiencing. Healing is taking a pause, getting real with yourself on what's wrong, and making a commitment to yourself to heal the damage. One of the biggest hurdles you will have to overcome is the fact you've been hurt by your parents when you were a defenseless child, with no other means of support. Whether or not your parents meant to scar you is often irrelevant if they still haven't healed their own scars and learned to better connect as a parent. Please consider purchasing a copy of my HIS guide HERE to start your healing journey. #2 Cleanse Your Environments Healing requires change. Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, you are literally transforming and evolving into a better you. Often that means the old circle of friends, and even family members will no longer serve you and may even be holding you back by throwing up your past life. Often during your healing process, it's best to go no-contact with your parents so you can fully process the extent of the damage done and once you're in a better position you can decide if you wish to re-establish some form of connection with them. #3 Commit to Being A Parent to Your Inner Child Become the parent you didn't have and needed when you were a child. Healing teaches you to stop looking to external sources that have failed you and to find your true source within. You were born with everything you needed to live a full, happy, and successful life already. You just need help unlocking it, especially if it's been buried beneath a lot of other people's trauma and conditioning. Remember, not all parents are bad people, but not all parents who are good people are great at parenting either. A true sign of a good parent is that you would have learned how to be a good parent to your inner child, which is what we'll talk about in our next blog post! Until next time, here's to your sexy! Mel SHOP THE GUIDE! Looking for affordable, inexpensive therapy? Look no further than starting your HIS lifestyle with of my guidebook! This is a great start to uncovering your root issues (the why & how to understanding your behavior). If you find yourself unhappy, struggling in relationships, repeating toxic cycles, attracted to narcissistic individuals, the empathetic doormat who everyone depends on but no one is there for you, and so much more these guides will be the start of literally changing your life and/or deepening your self-healing/love journey! Here's to your Sexy! 💋 HEALING IS SEXY: 5 ESSENTIALS TO START YOUR SELF-HEALING JOURNEY - FULL WORKBOOK
$55.00
Begin your HIS journey with my 5 step process on how to self-heal. Take the next step in becoming your BEST self so you can start to experience happier, healthier relationships & live a fuller life. Healing your trauma doesn't have to be scary, lonely, or frustrating! Let my guide help you. This therapy session will:
33 easy-to-follow pages that provide a solid foundation for your healing journey without overwhelming. Speed up your self-healing journey and see results faster with this clear, simple, easy to navigate, step-by-step guide that will help you get straight to the root of your trauma and develop a concise plan of action! BONUS: Get 21 Ways to Date Yourself FREE with purchase Download digital file. Due to digital nature of this content this purchase is non-refundable. Must download file within 30 days from purchase. *Price includes taxes Let’s discuss what we can learn from Tia’s recent divorce filing as well as other couples who may have been together 10+ years. |
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