You are the foundation for every and any relationship you’ll ever have. Its important for those of us who have been traumatized by our families to take an active role in our healing journey and seek the help needed to work past the obstacles Our overall wellbeing consists of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Let’s talk about how you can start to get all 3 in tune after trauma. Heal your trauma
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Parenting 101: The Importance of Meeting Your Developing Child’s Emotional & Mental Health Needs1/18/2023 In this video let’s talk about what it REALLY means to be a parent, the vital important roles of the mother, and how a child’s mental health develops in those early stages. Heal your trauma! To purchase a HIS guide and start your self-healing journey use this link: https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p22/hishealingbasicguide.html Today’s post is especially for you aspiring female travelers, regardless of your experience safety is ALWAYS top priority! Here are some of my safety measures to ensure I spend my trips enjoying new cultures versus stressing over not becoming a headline.
Lastly, when asked you are ALWAYS with someone (preferably a boyfriend or husband, but a brother or girlfriend may work if you meet a cute guy. Still be careful because you don't know him well yet). You NEVER want to give the impression that you are alone to avoid predators looking to take advantage. You are always in transit or someone (a man) is waiting for you to meet or check in with them soon. If someone is asking for details simply say "I don't want to talk about that right now" to avoid discomfort from probing or them calling bluff. Shoot a quick text or call to someone you know letting them know you're getting in a cab and/or where you're heading. Make it obvious so the cab driver is aware you are in touch with a network looking out for your safety. I’ve created the perfect itinerary for solo female travelers with all the deets on how to plan your day-by-day (time, locations/sites, hotels, transports, airports, outfits to wear, costs, literally everything!) in various countries! Let me take all the stress out of planning your next (or first) big trip by using one of my HIS Travel Guides. You can visit the store by clicking HERE. Using my HIS travel guides you literally just have to follow my easy-to-follow templates, book your trip, pack accordingly and go! You can even make your own adjustments to the itinerary. Traveling the world is definitely something I believe we all should do because it makes us all better, self-aware individuals. The fact we are women and maybe traveling alone shouldn’t scare us from having and experiencing new adventures that can improve our lives! Are there any more safety tips you can offer? Please share them with the community in the comments below! Please travel safely! HEALING IS SEXY: Tampa Travel Guide
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Use my literally-done-for-you HIS travel guide to plan your next vacation experience! My guides are are PACKED with daily, easy to follow recommendations for planning your travel activities, your instragammable looks & feed, as well as healing prompts/challenges to incorporate personal growth. Traveling has always been one of the best ways to heal, grow, and expand individually and show up as your higher self in the world around you. Let me show you how to do it in luxury! *Price includes taxes Download digital file. Due to digital nature of this content this purchase is non-refundable. Must download file within 30 days from purchase. Hey guys! So as my travels start to pick up I figured I'd share some on why I really love the SHEIN brand for meeting my traveling needs. For starters, their clothing is super cute and super affordable! If you know, you know. Now, while there are times the quality of the material may be lacking (I've received some dresses where one side was longer than the other and I spent waaaay more than I should have taking it to get altered compared to what I paid for the dresses or the material may not be the best) overall I would, and still do continue to shop there. Many people complain about how thin some of the material is . . . I say it's all about your perspective, because honey, to me that just means I can pack more in my carry-on, no checked bags lifestyle! As a tip, if anything is too see-through layer up and wear black undergarments beneath. My first favorite look on my recent trip to Florida is this two piece, super comfortable off-white outfit. The skirt is long and flowy and the bubbly top also added to my chill vibes. On this particular day I had so much fun indulging my inner child in various activities (more on that in my HIS Tampa travel guide). Here's what the outfit looks like, full effect. My second favorite look was actually this sexy bikini set in yellow for the beach. Super cute! SHEIN has been really great about shipping and lucky for me their packages always arrive earlier than estimated, so this arrived just in time for me to take with me! Finally, the last of my favorite looks I'd like to share with you is this white, crop top outfit with baggy cargo pants. I looooove these comfortable cargo pants! Perfect for a travel day, which is how I intend to use them in the future! To see all of the SHEIN looks I went for on my trip to Tampa you can check out my HIS Tampa Travel guide to get inspiration for you next trip and detailed itineraries on where to eat, what to see, and how to plan the perfect vacation!
More travel blogs coming soon! Mel In this video I discuss who your inner child is and how you become a parent to them.
Any questions, please comment below! Shop the guide: https://www.healingissexylife.com/shop.html In this video I break down what EUP is and how it impacts your adulthood and relationships.
Any questions, comment below! It's human nature (ego/self-preservation) to place blame on everyone else instead of holding ourselves accountable for the experiences we may be having. Instead of setting proper boundaries that honor our authentic feelings and our inner child we blame others for making us feel guilty if we don't keep them happy. What's really happening is we're abandoning ourselves when we don't hold ourselves accountable for enforcing our boundaries. Emotionally unavailable parenting isn't just something our parents may have done to us. We may be doing the same parenting to ourselves and our inner child. Who Is Your Inner Child? Your inner child is the younger version of you, your voice, that's always still there experiencing your everyday life in your adult body. Your inner voice and feelings didn't just go away because you "grew up" in your physical body. Often times we still have some emotional and mental growth to do, so it's best to not mistake physical, outward growth with internal growth. What Is Parenting? Parenting is more than just providing yourself or a loved one with basic survival needs. That's only one aspect of parenting responsibilities. True parenting is teaching yourself and your child to feel safe in fostering relationships and how to sustain those connections. We are social creatures. Newborn babies will literally die without social interaction from another source within a certain time frame. At the heart of parenting is teaching ourselves and our children to form healthy relationship bonds with themselves as well as with others. How to Know If You're Abandoning Your Inner Child The fastest way to know without a shadow of a doubt you're self-abandoning is when you lack boundaries and/or you're too afraid to speak up about them. This usually results in a cycle of beating yourself up for not standing up for yourself, guilt-tripping if you semi-stand up for yourself, and just overall all not feeling good about yourself regardless of what you do. When you're not afraid to set boundaries, and more importantly, enforce said boundaries then you feel good about yourself and you allow the other adults to be responsible for their emotions and reactions. You stop carrying the responsibility of worrying about how others will feel or what they will think when you stick to your boundaries. This is quite a liberating feeling! Real quick, here are 3 tips on how to stop abandoning yourself: #1 Heal Healing will always be the foundational basis for everything, because it connects you to your authentic self, which is the source all your future decisions will flow from, including your boundaries! Healing will provide you the clarity you need to set boundaries and enforce them without feeling guilty about it! #2 Set Boundaries Now, this can be super hard for you, especially if you've never set boundaries before and grew up in an environment that conditioned you to be a people-pleaser and have no boundaries. Society has taught you that having boundaries means disappointing the people who "love" you and who you're "supposed" to never disappoint. The reality is boundaries are based on your authentic self and needs and are meant to protect you and your peace of mind. Think about it this way, are you going to be happier in relationships where you can be your authentic self and your boundaries are respected? Or are you going to stay miserable hiding your true feelings and feeling guilty if you don't support people who don't think twice about taking from you without returning the favor? #3 Make Yourself A Priority My final tip on ways to avoid self-abandonment is going to be to stop putting yourself last. It is not noble to treat yourself as an option, because you are teaching others to treat you like an option. The #1 person who should be showing up for you and cheering you on isn't your partner/spouse, your parents, your circle of family, and friends. It's YOU! No matter who else in life that's abandoning you, you gotta be there for yourself regardless. You do this by making your healing a priority so you have the blueprint and future road map to keep yourself a priority. Being a priority isn't selfish at all. It's simply teaching yourself and others that you matter and while you're here on this earth, how you will be treated should they be blessed to be considered a part of your circle. SHOP THE GUIDE! Looking for affordable, inexpensive therapy? Look no further than starting your HIS lifestyle with of my guidebook! This is a great start to uncovering your root issues (the why & how to understanding your behavior). If you find yourself unhappy, struggling in relationships, repeating toxic cycles, attracted to narcissistic individuals, the empathetic doormat who everyone depends on but no one is there for you, and so much more these guides will be the start of literally changing your life and/or deepening your self-healing/love journey! Here's to your Sexy! 💋 Our Black community has suffered generational trauma, that unfortunately still remains prevalent in too many of our households to this day. There is no one size fits all scenario or solution. But our healing must begin and it starts with each of us becoming more aware of how our childhood is still showing up in our adult lives. What Is Emotionally Unavailable Parenting (EUP)? First, emotionally unavailable parenting means regardless of whether or not your parents were physically present in the home or in your life, you still didn't connect with them in a deep, meaningful way. This usually happens because our parents were too busy working multiple jobs, taking care of all our siblings, struggling with substance abuse, living too far away, or maybe didn't want to share any part of our lives so they physically abandoned us as well. How & Why It Happens As we already covered, emotionally unavailable parenting happens because our parents are caught up in their own lives and struggles. But it also happens like clockwork because that's how our society has largely conditioned us to operate. We aren't taught how to be actively present parents. We are taught to chase a bag and provide for our families, and we get praised for sacrificing valuable time we could spend at home bonding with our loved ones. We don't get the flexibility to go to our kids' games or school programs. Instead, we're asked to work later to meet the company's deadline or we choose to pick up overtime for more pay. We've normalized sacrificing the time our children need to learn how to form healthy emotional connections. Often seemingly out of necessity and survival mode. But this is costing us big time in the long run as we continue to experience the cycle of broken homes and lives within our community. We've got to break the cycle and right now the only way I see more of us winning is if we come together as a community to support and uplift one another, so we can all win. Both now and in our future generations. Here are 3 quick steps to start repairing the damage done by your parent's emotionally unavailable parenting. #1: Heal Healing isn't a band-aid you slap on and keep pushing yourself through life, ignoring the constant drama or hurt you're experiencing. Healing is taking a pause, getting real with yourself on what's wrong, and making a commitment to yourself to heal the damage. One of the biggest hurdles you will have to overcome is the fact you've been hurt by your parents when you were a defenseless child, with no other means of support. Whether or not your parents meant to scar you is often irrelevant if they still haven't healed their own scars and learned to better connect as a parent. Please consider purchasing a copy of my HIS guide HERE to start your healing journey. #2 Cleanse Your Environments Healing requires change. Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, you are literally transforming and evolving into a better you. Often that means the old circle of friends, and even family members will no longer serve you and may even be holding you back by throwing up your past life. Often during your healing process, it's best to go no-contact with your parents so you can fully process the extent of the damage done and once you're in a better position you can decide if you wish to re-establish some form of connection with them. #3 Commit to Being A Parent to Your Inner Child Become the parent you didn't have and needed when you were a child. Healing teaches you to stop looking to external sources that have failed you and to find your true source within. You were born with everything you needed to live a full, happy, and successful life already. You just need help unlocking it, especially if it's been buried beneath a lot of other people's trauma and conditioning. Remember, not all parents are bad people, but not all parents who are good people are great at parenting either. A true sign of a good parent is that you would have learned how to be a good parent to your inner child, which is what we'll talk about in our next blog post! Until next time, here's to your sexy! Mel SHOP THE GUIDE! Looking for affordable, inexpensive therapy? Look no further than starting your HIS lifestyle with of my guidebook! This is a great start to uncovering your root issues (the why & how to understanding your behavior). If you find yourself unhappy, struggling in relationships, repeating toxic cycles, attracted to narcissistic individuals, the empathetic doormat who everyone depends on but no one is there for you, and so much more these guides will be the start of literally changing your life and/or deepening your self-healing/love journey! Here's to your Sexy! 💋 PART I. I knew this would be too good to wrap up in one live so stay tuned for part II. Thanks again @larrygriffie for sharing from your perspective. Love the gems you dropped. We covered: - What do Black men need Black women to understand - What are the biggest struggles Black men face? - What unique challenges are there dating Black women? - Are Black men operating from mostly a survival mentality? And why? Tune in 🖤 PART II PART II. Survival mode, discrimination, masculine/feminine energies, trauma. These are all topics we cover to wrap up part 2. Thank you again @larrygriffie for taking the time out to have this conversation 🖤
The Skinny of Booking International Flights (Top 3 Tips For Booking International Flights)10/29/2022 Hey HIS fam!
So I just booked my first international flight and just thinking about it makes me want to scream like a 5 year-old who doesn't know what to do with herself! The idea of booking your first international trip will do that to you . . . make you scream out loud from sheer excitement :D Let's talk about one of the scariest moments, which is booking your first international flights. Now I won't spill all my secrets here (you'll have to buy one of the HIS Travel Guides HERE), but there are certain steps you can take to be a more savvy traveler. First, hands down shameless plug, get one of my HIS Travel Guides. It will save you a world of headache because I've provided a detailed excel that breaks it all down. You just simply have to type and save over with your own details and presto, DONE! I actually love planning the details of trips so I've done the work for you, literally. Simply follow along and save over with your details. Also, once you buy one guide you can use it for future trips! The template is super easy to switch up and learn. Hands down best investment you'll ever make for planning trips. Ever! Okay, now here's are my top 3 for booking international flights: 1 - You want to fly out of a major city, if you don't live in one. Smaller cities can have nice, small, easy to maneuver airports. Leaving from them is super convenient because you're not driving hours to a bigger city and you don't have to worry about dealing with overwhelming crowds, getting lost finding a terminal and missing a flight. But honey, when you check those online prices it's worth it to drive hours to save hundreds (unless you have a circumstance that proves otherwise). For some reason a return flight can be $1,300 even though flying out may be $800 or so. Flying domestically I'm sure is less expensive to leave from a smaller home airport, but when flying international you'll be saving hundreds by driving a few hours and yes, that can include cost for gas, parking fees, and maybe even booking the night at a decent hotel. Use those savings towards experiences or shopping on your trip! Pro Tip: If you have to drive more than 2 hours to a larger city it may be worth booking a hotel anyway to ensure you're well rested and not stressed or rushing dealing with last minute surprises. Always plan to give yourself enough time for those unexpected emergencies or delays. Always make sure you'll be comfortable and not too stressed or tired to enjoy the experience you're already spending so much on! 2- Did you know? You can and should check the quality of the airline online. One of everyone's biggest fears is an airline that sucks. Last minute delayed and cancelled flights. Lost baggage. You can actually see how well the airline you're considering has done in the past to try to avoid a nightmare experience! Go to this website: https://www.transportation.gov/individuals/aviation-consumer-protection/air-travel-consumer-reports The only thing is this report is monthly, so you won't be able to see the airline's details over the period of one year summed up in one report. The report provides details on the number of issues (from baggage to flight problems). Use a simple control find to find the airline you're considering. Plan to succeed by allowing ample time to do your research, especially if it's your first time! I provide more details in one of my HIS Travel Guides. 3 - Depart the day before you want to arrive. When it comes to international travel don't forget the different time zones! Plan for success by allowing one full 24 hours in advance before your arrival. You can literally be flying into the next day and flights usually take 10+ hours depending on where you're going, so if you book your flight on the same day you plan to arrive you will find yourself already a day late (or early if the time zone you are flying to is behind your current time zone). Keep this in mind when booking your hotel reservations & activities as well. To save yourself the stress, book your flight the day before you want to arrive. Also, read the fine print on the time zones when booking your flight. Most times the time reflected on the website and ticket will be the time zone of the location you're heading towards. Pro Tip: As exciting as it may be to arrive in a new destination you need to allow time for the unexpected so it doesn't throw your plans for fun out the window! Booking a flight 1 day in advance helps, but it's also wise to have another full day of no plans to follow upon arrival to buffer any flight delays or cancellations! Once you land, give yourself another full day (or at least 3-4 hours) of just getting settled in. If all goes well with no flight delays you'll have extra time to explore and maybe do some of the fun things you had planned in advanced. That's much better than having to reschedule your fun due to a delayed or cancelled flight! Don't book flights and fun activities back to back. Try to leave enough space in-between for unexpected delays. This is especially important when you're country hopping, trying to do the most! Traveling the world has never been easier or more affordable (and it keeps getting better)! Become a pro and snag one of my HIS Travel Guides for more pro tips to make the most out of your future travel investments. My guides provide an easy to plug in template for planning all of your trip details! BONUS PRO TIP: Again, leave plenty of leeway on the day(s) you'll be flying between different countries because some will require you to get a visa in order to enter their country! There may be a long line and it's possible you can miss your connecting flight! Research the country's requirements for entry and make sure you have enough time to complete any transitioning before needing to board your next flight or starting your next activity. I know it can be tempting to squeeze in as much as possible, as quickly as possible but you gotta plan for those unexpected factors you don't have control over. Happy flight booking! |
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