Healing Is Sexy
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  • H.I.S. Party
  • DATE SMARTER
    • 7 Reasons Your Dating Style Keeps You Single
  • BLOG
  • TRAVEL
  • SHOP

Unaddressed Trauma Will 100% Ruin Your Love Life

2/26/2023

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This video is to help those who are struggling with unaddressed trauma to better understand how it’s going to prevent you from being able to sustain a healthy relationship with your life partner. Please get the help you need to heal your trauma. You can find more resources in my blog and store by visiting

Register for A Lady's Man Academy (ALMA):
https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p34/aladysmanacademy.html

Register for Decoding Men 101 Bootcamp:
https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p20/decodingmenbootcamp.html

Visit HIS Lifestyle Blog (free game):
https://www.healingissexylife.com/lifestyle.html HIS Weekly

Newsletter (also free game):
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https://www.healingissexylife.com/subscribe.html
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MATCHMAKING 101: What to Expect

2/26/2023

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Here are the top 3 things you can expect if you’re considering becoming a client and hiring a matchmaker.

Register for A Lady's Man Academy (ALMA):
https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p34/aladysmanacademy.html

Register for Decoding Men 101 Bootcamp:
https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p20/decodingmenbootcamp.html

Visit HIS Lifestyle Blog (free game):
https://www.healingissexylife.com/lifestyle.html

HIS Weekly Newsletter (also free game):
https://www.healingissexylife.com/subscribe.html
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4 Alternatives to Traditional Talk Therapy (long version)

2/26/2023

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I wanted to provide a more in-depth video breaking down 4 alternatives to regular talk therapy. Often, your path to healing will involve a combination and finding the right balance from various forms of therapy. Don't be afraid to explore and learn more about what works best for you!
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​7 Things I Wish I Knew Before Booking My First (International) Solo Trip

2/12/2023

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Hey, HIS fam! So today, we’re talking about things to know before you book that first (or next) solo trip. Here are some insights I wish I’d have known sooner and I hope they help you too! 

  • If you plan to make solo travel a thing, do yourself a favor and get you a good travel credit card to avoid those travel transaction fees! From what I’ve seen so far, you will likely have to pay a yearly fee for the card but that will all be out-weighted by the fees you avoid and the free nights/flights the accumulated points will earn you if you plan on traveling frequently enough. I cringed every time I remembered charging my card after I saw the first statement with those foreign fees. Grrrrr!  Pro tip: Consider how frequently you plan on legit traveling because certain cards will require you to spend a certain amount each year in order to not lose your status! You don't want to feel pressured to go out of your way to rack up debt just to hold status.

  • ALWAYS research the entry requirements for the different countries you’re going to, especially if you plan to visit more than one during one trip (country hopping). You want to make sure if a visa or any other process is required you have time to clear the long lines and make your connecting flight. From what I’ve seen a lot of airports (Europe) have a kiosk or some electronic device where you can easily apply for a visa. But you won’t know how long the lines are until you get there! Keep this in mind when booking flights to ensure you have enough time to fulfill any entry requirements and make your connecting flight. See if you may be able to purchase the visa online if you can find a verified website.

  • Here’s something I did learn before making my first trip that is helpful. Research packing light. Avoid bringing checked baggage, especially if you are country hopping. The biggest problem most people have is their baggage getting lost with all their valuables. Compression packing cubes are a lifesaver and will have you packing up to two weeks’ worth of fresh clothing or more. I prefer a backpack because it allows my hands to be free vs. a rolling carry-on. Another thing to note is that different airports have different weight requirements for carry-ons. I feel a backpack is much easier to pass through airport checkpoints without being questioned on whether you need to check the item or not. Look for a travel backpack that can be carried like a suitcase handle as well and possibly have wheels for when you don’t want to stress your shoulders. Pro tip: If you live close enough to the airport you might want to do a drive by to see if your packed bag will fit. If you want a less extreme method, practice packing for a local upcoming trip to see how much you can/can't get away with. EXTRA Pro Tip: For airlines that charge for a carry-on definitely pre-pay before you arrive at the airport! It's cheaper and they seem more lenient if you've already pre-paid. 

  • You don’t need to book a bunch of tours that have you stuck all day at various sites you’re not interested in staying at for long. Instead, you can find a smaller tour guide company or hire a private car to take you to the places you want to spend time at. This may be pricier than just going with the flow and dealing with larger crowds, but if you’re like me, you value your time and won’t want to waste a precious minute. It’s not every day you find yourself on the other side of the world so far away from home. Private, smaller options may be more expensive, but they are more convenient, more tailored to your requests, and often offer faster mobility and flexibility than the others. It also comes with more personal, undivided attention to your needs.

  • When booking hotels (preferable over Airbnb in areas you’re not familiar with unless the host is willing to play chauffeur and tour guide) look to see if they offer transfers to/from the airport as well as to attractions. Especially with island resorts, you want to use the hotel’s transportation and avoid using the local cab/taxi. BONUS Pro Tip: Always ask and negotiate the price of a cab fare if using a local cab BEFORE getting in. Locals have a reputation for taking advantage of foreigners and charging you more than they should. You can research to see if there are any city laws in place that set a standard fare. For solo female travelers, some laws in European countries say women can get free rides during certain hours of the night (although it’s not advisable for you to be out alone in unfamiliar places too late at night. But if you have a late-night flight this is good to know!).

  • I learned this as well before leaving, but once you’re in an airport there will be loads of locals posing as “official” cabs and asking if you need a ride. This is why it’s important to coordinate your transportation needs in advance of your arrival if you’re not familiar with the country. I’ve read it’s best to avoid people like this altogether and I’ve seen other influences share stories where the cab driver they hailed down refused to drive them for a number of reasons (they were trying to charge too much and the traveler refused to pay, the driver literally said "I'm not heading the same direction" the traveler wanted to go/drive, etc). When traveling, especially as a solo woman you want to do so with reputable companies, not individuals who you will have a harder time holding accountable. Pro tip: Research and purchase self-defense alarms, lipstick tasers, etc that you can keep on you at all times for your safety. We not taking those kind of chances in these streets, ok?

  • Booking with an agent or trip guide/group is great for first-timers or those who absolutely hate planning details, but it’s also probably TWICE the cost. Now I’m not mad about paying for an experienced, well-organized travel guide host to provide a great experience. BUT I do take issue when said hosts are not organized and leave me with more questions than answers or provide conflicting information, leaving me confused on what flights to book, etc. I’m like I can just take care of all that myself and not have to stress about being left unread because the host is too busy to respond to me. If I’m paying you a lot of money, then I will need you to be responsive and provide accurate, detailed information at the time you take my money. Just know when you use a host or guide who is doing a group tour or offer you may not get the timely or personalized experience you need, leaving you at their mercy. If you are a well-organized, on-top-your-game person like myself, who is already comfortable with solo travel in your local city/country, you can skip the travel group tours for areas that are friendly towards women and save more of your coin for things you want to spend on. You will have complete control of your schedule and no need to hunt down someone who is serving other travelers as well. Once you get the hang of it you can save the group travels for places where you’re not comfortable going alone or want the added company. Trust me, you can do the same or better planning your own trip for FREE!
 
​If you found today's blog helpful, please drop a comment below and let me know! Also, any good group touring companies you've experienced and where did you go?


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Setting Boundaries 101

2/2/2023

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​We only get one life. The sooner you set boundaries and start living life on your terms the sooner you’ll enjoy a fulfilling life of purpose. Let’s dive on!
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Where Did You Learn Your Beliefs From?

2/2/2023

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Many of us have never truly stopped and asked ourselves about our beliefs or why we do the things we do. Whether it’s tradition, religion, or just how we live life, the career path we choose, the schools or clubs we join. . .

​Are we really doing those things because we discovered it on our own for ourselves?

Or did we pick it up from our family, friends, and community and just keep going with the flow because that’s what everyone else was doing and how we were raised?

As human beings we are creatures of social interaction and any time a member tries to question what the majority does they are often “silenced” in effort to protect the way things are. In today’s video,

I’d like to challenge you to look inward and challenge any notions or beliefs you may have held onto about yourself from your childhood.
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Trauma Biologically Changes Your Body ‼️

1/21/2023

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You’re not truly living life if you still carry unaddressed trauma around. It just keeps you stuck living in the past instead of being excited for what the future brings.

In this video we cover reparenting yourself and the 5 steps I used to start my self-healing journey.

​Heal your trauma.
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Shape your Destiny: Mentally, Physically, Emotionally

1/18/2023

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You are the foundation for every and any relationship you’ll ever have. Its important for those of us who have been traumatized by our families to take an active role in our healing journey and seek the help needed to work past the obstacles

Our overall wellbeing consists of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Let’s talk about how you can start to get all 3 in tune after trauma.

​Heal your trauma

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Parenting 101: The Importance of Meeting Your Developing Child’s Emotional & Mental Health Needs

1/18/2023

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In this video let’s talk about what it REALLY means to be a parent, the vital important roles of the mother, and how a child’s mental health develops in those early stages. Heal your trauma!

​To purchase a HIS guide and start your self-healing journey use this link:  
https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p22/hishealingbasicguide.html
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8 Safety Tips for Solo Woman Travelers

1/18/2023

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Today’s post is especially for you aspiring female travelers, regardless of your experience safety is ALWAYS top priority! Here are some of my safety measures to ensure I spend my trips enjoying new cultures versus stressing over not becoming a headline.

  • Especially for beginners, when it comes to traveling solo you should start out in one of two ways. The first way is to get comfortable traveling to places solo in areas that you’re already comfortable in and familiar with. This can be done locally at home or in a different city/state within the same country. The second way to go about it is to travel with a reputable group that hosts various traveling experiences. Both methods allow you to get out of your comfort zone and gradually build up your confidence in how you respond in situations. Solo travel doesn’t mean you need to always go it alone!

  • ​​Ladies, please do NOT go to countries where women are treated as second-class citizens alone. It’s just not smart, especially where there is a language barrier, and you are totally dependent on others (who will be mostly men by default). That’s just asking for trouble and setting yourself up to be miserable and unsafe. Just don’t do it! No matter how experienced you are traveling solo. In places like those, you need to coordinate having a hired personal guide with you and/or ensure you have connections well in advance to make the most of your trip.

  • Buy locks for your room door and learn how to use them. Let’s be real. You won’t always pick the best hotel or living situation for your destination and sometimes you may be tight on the budget. I’m in no way recommending booking the cheapest rooms (more on that later) but in the event you make have made a hasty decision or didn’t have many options due to an unplanned situation/emergency (i.e. canceled flight, you got sick) than knowing how to use the locks on your door will help add a layer of security and peace of mind. I found some on Amazon here.

  • Personally, I advise you don’t skimp on the hotel. I know, I know. You want to put as much money towards the experiences and food you plan on enjoying. But the hotel is part of the experience as well! You won’t enjoy your travels so much if you are worried about where you’re sleeping and recuperating your strength. There is no price on your safety, so please do your research and if you must skimp on the hotel make sure it’s not in a sketchy area.

  • Don’t walk around with all your cash or valuables when you can avoid it. If you’re not in transit to the airport try to only carry enough cash for the day. Don’t keep all your cash or credit cards in one purse or wallet because if for any reason you get robbed it puts you in a tight spot. People recommend making copies of your credit cards and keeping all documents and cash that isn’t needed in the safe at your hotel. Anything you need to carry with you I recommend keeping in a small purse/bag that you can wear in front (if wearing a backpack wear it in front of you while in transit) of you, preferably with a zipper, not something that’s so easy for a seasoned pickpocket to access. There are locks for backpacks on Amazon which you can find here for added safety.

  • Ladies, personally I believe our safety is sooo important which is why I HIGHLY recommend you book a private driver or arrange for a private transport well in advance of your trip! The difference between a driver and transport (aside from the cost) is how long you need them. Typically, a transport is only for to/from like from the airport to your hotel, while a driver is like a chauffeur. It is a big added expense, but it’s worth it IMO because the price is set (you’re not worried about the local cabs taking advantage of you, which they will!), you are dealing with a reputable company (do your research), you don’t need to worry about finding a new cab, getting lost across multiple public transits, and being in a car with a random stranger driving you around someplace you don’t know. The peace of mind is priceless and I highly recommend you put as much effort into planning your transition to and from all places (hotel, airport, experiences, food) with a reputable driver or tour hosting company. Research, research, research, and book in advance with preferably a travel credit card so you can avoid foreign transaction fees and have the added protective layer of your credit card company in case of a dispute. Use Uber over a taxi and when you must use a taxi ALWAYS negotiate and agree on the price BEFORE you set foot inside the car or you will get scammed!

  • Close second to having a personal driver is hiring a personal tour guide. If you do your research you can find smaller tour companies that are flexible and offer to provide a custom itinerary based on what you’d like to do. Do your research and shop around. They can double as your photographer for catching content, save you time by navigating to your destinations quickly, and provide that added layer of security. You may prefer to have another woman with you and if so request that specifically. If you’re like me and like to plan for maximum success and experiences, the time you’ll save by having a personal guide is well worth the investment.

  • Another great tip is to research any scams, protests, and extremist groups in the places you plan on visiting so you know which areas to avoid or exercise more caution. Use YouTube, Google, and your country’s embassy for alerts and warnings before you go. It’s also a great idea to register with your country’s embassy so someone there is aware of your location in event of an emergency. You can do this online.

Lastly, when asked you are ALWAYS with someone (preferably a boyfriend or husband, but a brother or girlfriend may work if you meet a cute guy. Still be careful because you don't know him well yet). You NEVER want to give the impression that you are alone to avoid predators looking to take advantage. You are always in transit or someone (a man) is waiting for you to meet or check in with them soon. If someone is asking for details simply say "I don't want to talk about that right now" to avoid discomfort from probing or them calling bluff. Shoot a quick text or call to someone you know letting them know you're getting in a cab and/or where you're heading. Make it obvious so the cab driver is aware you are in touch with a network looking out for your safety.

I’ve created the perfect itinerary for solo female travelers with all the deets on how to plan your day-by-day (time, locations/sites, hotels, transports, airports, outfits to wear, costs, literally everything!) in various countries! Let me take all the stress out of planning your next (or first) big trip by using one of my HIS Travel Guides. You can visit the store by clicking HERE.

Using my HIS travel guides you literally just have to follow my easy-to-follow templates, book your trip, pack accordingly and go! You can even make your own adjustments to the itinerary.

Traveling the world is definitely something I believe we all should do because it makes us all better, self-aware individuals. The fact we are women and maybe traveling alone shouldn’t scare us from having and experiencing new adventures that can improve our lives!

Are there any more safety tips you can offer? Please share them with the community in the comments below!

Please travel safely!

HEALING IS SEXY: Tampa Travel Guide

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Use my literally-done-for-you HIS travel guide to plan your next vacation experience! My guides are are PACKED with daily, easy to follow recommendations for planning your travel activities, your instragammable looks & feed, as well as healing prompts/challenges to incorporate personal growth.


Traveling has always been one of the best ways to heal, grow, and expand individually and show up as your higher self in the world around you. Let me show you how to do it in luxury!


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    About The Author

    Mel Williams is the creator of Healing Is Sexy (HIS) lifestyle., showing you how focusing on SELF can change your life & romance for the BEST! She's been working with singles & couples since 2017.

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