Learning your partner cheated on you is traumatic for both men and women.
Even though it has mostly nothing to do with you, it’s enough to cause major insecurity issues leaving you scarred possibly for life.
Here are more productive steps you can take once you’ve learned that your partner has been messing around with other people.
1 The news may catch you off guard and depending on your level of self-awareness and healing you may have a tendency to react in the heat of the moment. This is human, but it can only make matters worse if you behave in a manner where things get physically abusive or involves law enforcement. If possible, try to avoid reacting in an extreme manner.
You can better control your emotional reactions best by proactively making the time to heal any root trauma or insecurities that has you out of tune with who you are. Once you’re in tune with who you are you will find it easier to separate your cheating partner’s actions as having less to do with you and more to do with the type of decisions they made.
2 This next step varies for everyone, but after you may decide you need space away to process or you may decide to just end the relationship right then and there. If cheating is a deal-breaker for you, then that’s your call to make.
If you would rather process the information first then having some physical distance between the two of you will be good to allow you both time to process what’s happening and the desired future state of your relationship.
3 It may be best to go ahead and get a third party involved so that during the early stages of communication you can minimize miscommunication and keep high levels of emotional tension in check.
Such interactions rarely remain calm or productive in the earlier stages, which happens to be the most important timeframe for action to occur because that is when the matter is still highly sensitive.
The success or failure rate of the relationship can be determined by how matters unfold in the earlier stages.
If you decided to have the first few initial talks without a third neutral party I strongly encourage that you involve a trusted neutral party at this time. The road to recovery will be long and filled with many ups and downs.
To avoid the two of you going down a darker hole it’s best to have someone who can help keep you both on track to rebuilding the trust and helping you both deal with the real underlying issues in your relationship.
Remember, this is a process. If you decide to stick it out and work through the infidelity you will both have your good and bad days still. Do not feel pressured or rushed to “get over” the pain you are experiencing. Time and consistent proactive action will help you restore your relationship and come back stronger than before.
Are you struggling in your relationship with your loved one? See how I may be able to help you save your current relationship.
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