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The Untold Truths of Childhood Trauma

6/27/2022

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According to CDC, more than 60% of adults suffer from childhood trauma they are likely to carry throughout their entire lifetime. Whether they are unaware of the iceberg effects of their underlying trauma or they don’t know where to begin their healing process, unaddressed childhood trauma is usually the culprit that contributes to the (lack of) quality life experiences they may be suffering.

In this article, we are going to cover the ways your childhood trauma may be showing up in your adult life and ruining your happiness.



Truth #1: Unaddressed Childhood Trauma Is Carried With The Survivor, Remaining Usually Through Their Lifetime

This first truth is key because so many people write off or worst, normalize their childhood trauma. They believe that it’s now “a thing of the past” that doesn’t affect their lives now to any significant degree.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

Our brain and body literally encode our childhood experiences for better or worse into our being. This serves as a learning and coping mechanism meant to help you (as a child) know what feels good, bad, safe, or dangerous.  

As a child when your body experiences unsafe circumstances, you started to develop coping strategies in the interest of your survival.

Some examples are if your parents or caregivers were abusive you started to appease them to lessen the harm done. Even if they did something you knew was wrong as you grew older you wouldn’t say or do anything to object because your body and mind knew raising any objections would be “very bad” for you. 

This shows up in your adulthood by you normalizing abusive relationships and “fawning” to appease the offender instead of raising any objections. 

If your parents were emotionally unavailable it’s likely you developed a tendency to please them by proving your worth or by seeking the attention you lacked by misbehaving.

This shows up in your adulthood by you going above and beyond to show others you care or feeling that you have to always give more than the other person so they can understand your worth and stay with you.

More of us need to realize and dive deep to address the icebergs that started forming during our childhoods that we are still carrying to this day.
Your childhood trauma isn’t something that “just happened so long ago” when you were a kid because your brain and body are literally carrying that trauma around inside of you as a defense mechanism.



Truth #2: While It’s Unlikely You’ll Ever Get “Rid” of Your Childhood Trauma, You Can Control Your Triggers Better In Time

The next truth is that your experiences as a child through being an adolescent, during a time where you had little control over what may have happened to you or your environment, will last your lifetime.

The important thing then becomes not just what happened to you, but how are you going to navigate your life in light of it?

You can choose to allow the trauma to rob you of a happy and fulfilling life or you can choose to fight back and not allow the trauma to win.

Our goal isn’t to “get rid” of the trauma because depending on how long you endure the experience or how traumatic any single event was we can’t truly erase our memories or what I like to refer to as the “trauma mapping” our body and mind created.

Our trauma can be wielded as a tool to help us better understand ourselves and become more self-aware of our triggers. It helps us better understand our needs in a relationship in order to feel secure and form healthy connections.
While undertaking this healing process may seem scary at first, if you think about your current state and if you want to continue in that current state for the rest of your life, you may come to see that the perceived risks in starting sooner vs. waiting until later far outweigh any of your fears.
Healing is almost like interest compounding.
The sooner you start the faster it adds up and increases your quality of life!



Truth #3: You Don’t Have to See A Therapist to Start Your Healing Journey, Although One May Be Helpful If You Can Afford One

The final truth we’ll cover is how simple it can be for you to start taking control of your unhealed trauma right now, from the comforts of your home without necessarily inviting others into your privacy.

One of the major hindrances to seeking help is the stigma associated with seeking a therapist or the expenses.
But you can overcome both by using one of the HIS guides available HERE.

Whether you seek a therapist or any other professional you have to realize that it’s on you to accept responsibility for not allowing the coping strategies your body developed to stay your norm. 

You have to do the work for yourself.

Any outside help is only going to be able to provide you with resources and tools, but if you’re not using them it won’t change anything in the end, no matter how much you paid or how consistent you were with keeping your appointments.​

That’s the one thing I nor any other outside resources can’t give you: the self-motivation to say enough is enough and to do the work for your self-healing.
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​If you find yourself unhappy, struggling in relationships, repeating toxic cycles, attracted to narcissistic individuals, the empathetic doormat who everyone depends on but no one is there for you, and so much more these guides will be the start of literally changing your life and/or deepening your self-healing/love journey!

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    About The Author

    Mel Williams is the creator of Healing Is Sexy (HIS) lifestyle., showing you how focusing on SELF can change your life & romance for the BEST! She's been working with singles & couples since 2017.

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