No one likes to be told what to do and I find this to be especially true with men when it comes to dating. Blame it on their egos, call it childish, whatever you want. At the end of the day communicating your needs, wants, and desires are vital to the success of your relationships thriving and what’s more important isn’t just what you say, but also what you show.
I’ve written a few blogs already covering ways you can show a man how to date you without ever saying a word.
For this article, I want to focus on the art of showing and why it’s so important.
Showing is an art because each of us has a unique way of how we’d like to be loved and how to communicate our desires. It’s also an art because sometimes our way of communication may not be very well understood on the receiving end so at times it may require some creativity to get your message across effectively.
It’s so important to be able to show through consistent action and behavior what your standards are. It’s ideal if you do this from the very beginning so rather than struggling to even meet the standard, your partner would have already been made aware of what was required to even enter the door.
Don’t put yourself through the stress and heartache of working backward. You show men how you are to be treated by how you treat yourself. If you want a man to send or bring you flowers each week, make sure you’re already doing that for yourself, and if anything he will show his affections for you by replacing that sign of affection you've developed for yourself.
Do you want a man to take you out on nice dinner dates or for weekend getaways? How frequently are you doing that for yourself? Do you do it enough to know what nice restaurants you want to frequent and what’s on their menu? Or are you using the men you date as an excuse to finally make time to explore the options in your area?
I would advise against the latter. I would advise you’re more attractive when you show men that you’re familiar with all the fancy places because this is your norm, not just a once in a blue moon occurrence.
Not only does this show him how high the bar is raised in order for him to be granted your time, but it also communicates what’s expected going forward. He’ll know that if he puts on a front of taking you to all the nice places and thinks he can get away with falling back once he feels he’s “got” you that $h!t don’t fly. Not when you’ve shown him that this is your lifestyle and not just because you’re out on a date.
You show men through the lifestyle you build and surround yourself with. Ideally, when you build such a lifestyle it’s also positioning you to attract men of similar lifestyles so you don’t have to worry about one who isn’t already up to the standard of living.
Men are different from women. They can be broke or have it all and still have no real passion for living life until they meet the right woman to inspire that fire within them. They can be satisfied with just cruising through life, getting by with the basics. It’s us as women who add some spice and adventure to those dull lifestyles, otherwise, they’d mostly work, eat, sleep, and hand with their guy friends repeating the same old routine for the rest of their life.
Everyone knows how easy it is to say one thing and do another. And it doesn’t help that a lot of men already write off what a woman says because many feel we don’t know what we want or we’re always saying one thing and doing another. That’s why it’s so important to already have a lifestyle of doing aka showing what you’re about so there’s no question about what your standards are and what’s expected for you to entertain.
Learn to show, not just tell.
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