Spoiling Yourself Should Be A Lavished Treasure (Not A Chore!)

I’ve been super guilty of believing making any real investment towards my self-love and care was a waste of time. Putting on makeup, dressing up nice and wearing heels, running a simple bath, going to the spa, making time to just breathe, and not always rushing to the next thing.

I felt “too busy” to make time for myself and besides, what was the point? I didn’t care about that stuff or what others thought about me. My heart just wasn’t in it and so I didn’t see the need to do much of the things that would be considered spoiling myself.

If I’m being honest I really didn’t know my self-worth either, although at the time I’d have sworn I did. I treated myself to buying the nice things I wanted like clothes, shoes, bags, and occasional nice trips.

But there was still a void none of those things could fill. But because I was doing what I believed was the way to do life I was covering over the void that needed filling without ever really acknowledging the void itself.

All those things were really just distractions, wasting years of my life with a bunch of stuff that didn’t even really express or connect with my authentic self because I believed the things I really wanted were either out of reach or not worth pursuing because we all have to go someday and we can’t take any of the things we accumulate with us. A bit morbid I know.

But if it’s one thing my self-healing journey has taught me it’s that my life is meant to be treasured and lived! So is yours. We weren’t placed on this earth to just exist and die someday. I believe we’ve each been granted a gift of life and we should do all we can to experience a beautiful one. One we feel like gods and goddesses in. One where we are valued most of all by ourselves.

Consider this also. The one thing we want from a romantic partner and long-term relationship is to be treasured. We want our significant other to worship the ground we walk on and consistently love on us in a way we always feel treasured.

​But if we still haven’t learned to treat ourselves with this same high regard, there is literally no way we’ll be able to enjoy or sustain being with the ideal partner. We will either continually sell ourselves short or self-sabotage a good thing because of our insecurities and unaddressed trauma.

I want the best for myself and I want the best for you too.

You are only worthy of being spoiled by a lover if you’ve learned you are worthy of spoiling yourself also. You can only connect and expect from others as deeply as you’ve connected and expected from yourself.

This is why I had to learn to stop seeing spoiling myself as a dreaded chore. This is why you must learn this lifelong skill too so that you can stop searching for love in all the wrong places and learn to build a lifestyle you enjoy with or without others to share your most intimate spaces.

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