How To Get A Woman To Date You

So you're back out there and ready to meet a woman who is beautiful, fun, and into you! But you're not quite sure how to attract her and get her to date you.

Here's how you can increase your chances of experiencing successful dates with women and get her to want to date you!


1. As with everything I share on this blog, start with self.
In order to get a woman you like to date you, you have to first like yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses. Any areas about yourself that you don't like or feel make you a less desirable candidate make sure you're doing what you can to improve your odds.

If you feel having a better source of income, a more athletic body, changing your wardrobe, or the way you wear your hair will help boost your image and confidence, then invest in making that happen. 

The second part of knowing yourself is so you attract and date women who are best suited for you.


2. Be approachable and personable. 
Most men and women are shy when it comes to dating. So you becoming a man who is both inviting and easy to approach as well as easy to talk to goes a long way! One way to do both is to be interested in others.

Don't use of focus too much on "Me" or "I" statements. Focus more on getting to know her by asking well-placed questions which will help her relax and feel more connected to you.


3. Take the initiative. 
Some things don't change and a woman being attracted to a man who knows when and how to take charge is one of those things. If you want a woman to consider you as her man, then you must come prepared to show her what that experience will look like.

A woman is wired to search for safety, confidence, and reliability in the man she dates. If she doesn't feel she can trust your leadership and guidance you will fail to earn her faith in you as her man. 

​Learning what to say and do in various scenarios will help you prove your leadership capabilities and win her respect so she looks forward to dating you. Be clear in your intentions so there is no confusion.


4. Keep becoming your best self.
The reason this is so important is because you want to create a safe space for both you and her to be happy and experience a full life if you're hoping for a future together. Dating should be a continual process of you both getting to know each other, even once married! Dating should never stop. 

Any insecurities or trauma from your past holding you back should also be continually worked on so that you can free yourself from the chaos entering your relationships and focus more on enjoying love.

You'll be setting a good example for you both to enjoy a fruitful relationship that can stand the test of time. 

Notice how all of these steps have nothing to do with women and everything to do with yourself.


Mistakes To Avoid 
There are definitely some mistakes you want to avoid when asking a woman out. Here are a few to be mindful of so you don't risk ruining your chances.

1. Making assumptions.
You really don't know what you don't know and making faulty assumptions is one fast way to kill your chances. Don't assume anything, especially in the beginning.

Don't assume she's attracted to you as much as you are to her, that she prefers calls over text, that she's looking for something serious, and that she likes dinner dates.

Just don't do it.

The good news is that this allows ample opportunity for good conversations so you can learn more about her and what is more of the right move to make.

A close cousin of making assumptions is having entitlements. Again, don't assume you're entitled to anything at any time from a woman you are dating. 


2. Not taking lead at all or being controlling.
You have to find the right balance on this one. As I said before, women (even us strong, independent women) need to know the man we're dating can take lead.

But taking lead does not mean being controlling and dictating everything. Think of what it means to be a good leader.

A good leader is one who is actually serving those under his leadership. That means he is making the effort to better understand and take care of his followers and not trying to force his way onto others.

When you fail to take the lead, especially in the early stages of dating you allow uncertainty to seep in and she will not rely on you to have answers or for guidance in the relationship.


3. Not knowing yourself and what you want.
When you lack confidence and you don't know what you want it is grounds for inviting chaos and heartache.

This is why before dating it's important to know yourself and the type of woman you hope to attract so that you can be successful in attracting more of the women you're interested in. You don't want to waste your time dating the wrong type of woman for you.

You save time, money, and energy when you make sure your foundation of self and what you seek are in order first. Knowing yourself and establishing that confidence will save you from trying too hard or allowing an insecure woman to play games with your heart. 


What Women Want In A Man She's Dating
So, what do we women look for in a man we're dating? 

Of course, the answer will vary, but generally, there are a few things most of us have in common.

We are first looking for physical attraction. We want to be turned on by how hot you are just as much as that concept works for you. We want to get turned on when we think about how cute or hot we think you are. 

Every woman will have her idea of what's hot or not, same as every man has his own ideas. It's subjective so all we each can be is focused on becoming our best selves.

After a physical attraction has been established we start to look for an emotional connection.

Are you the type of man we feel comfortable with? Do we feel heard, seen, and cared for? Do we feel valued and loved? Do we feel understood?

Finally, one other thing we consider is if a partnership with you can stand the test of time and what does that look like. 

Yes, you're attractive and we even have great chemistry together, but are we able to work out our differences in a civil manner without tearing each other down? Are our values in alignment or are we to different people who may be better off as friends?​

Those are just some of the things women are looking for in the men we date.

​Check out other articles for Men to keep learning!

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