Let’s talk about getting back out there after you’ve taken some time off the scene to do some inner work.
I remember not long ago I felt ready to be open again so I signed up for a dating app and it wasn’t long before I met an attractive teddy bear. He was playful so we got into a friendly debate on gender roles and we had an amazing back and forth because he initiated and reciprocated our conversation through a little game he’d come up with.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before I suspected he was already in a relationship with someone else when we moved off the dating platform to our phones.
My little heart could have been crushed once again, and I was disappointed. But it definitely didn’t rock my world the way it could have had I still left my daddy issues unresolved.
I’m sure you’ve heard the horror stories.
But don’t allow them to scare you from the chance to meet someone else who’s done the work and is ready.
You have to trust the work you’ve done on self to shield you from the bad actors and to guide you as you give love another chance.
Dating and love require that you trust the process because if you enter with your insecurities or trust issues you’re really only setting yourself and the future of your love life up for failure.
At some point, you have to get past your fears and anxiety and ideally, this will happen before you enter a relationship and project any of that onto the other person.
Could I have been mad enough to text something snarky or call him out? Sure. But sending that type of energy out wouldn’t have changed what happened and I didn’t want to give any more time to the situation.
Another quick story.
Not long after I met another attractive guy.
The problem with this one was he seemed too busy with his own life to make any time to get to know me. It took him days to get back sometimes and I had to realize that no matter how genuine and nice of a guy he may be I need someone who has the availability to be consistent.
I didn’t need to feel bad for not getting back once he finally did. I just need to let him go by not responding to something I no longer wanted in my life (inconsistent people).
End of story.
As you can see, doing the inner work on self will certainly change the way you date and I hope as you have more encounters you find confidence, not fear in getting back out there.
Yes, it means you have fewer dates most times because it’s a numbers game where I encourage you to prioritize quality over quantity.
Save yourself the time and trouble of “taking a chance” on people who aren’t treating you like a priority.
Trust your inner voice with the work you’ve been doing and enjoy the experiences of getting out there and finding love.
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