Masculinity is a BIG factor in the world of men where it can mean survival of the fittest.
Unfortunately, there is a bit of toxic masculinity and confusion on what masculinity even is because a lot of men don’t have good examples to look up to.
I’m not a man, so of course, I can’t speak on everything that comes with what healthy masculinity looks like. But I can speak on being human, which men still are as well as what a good father, husband, and life partner looks like, and hopefully, this can help you shape your own identity as a man.
I believe every man is responsible for defining his masculinity and shaping himself into the man he desires to be. Regardless of his past, not having a present father figure every man who hopes to lead a family and leave a legacy must become capable of first leading himself.
If you’re lost on where to start defining your masculinity or feel you have to unlearn a lot of toxic masculinity one good place I like to encourage men to start is to look at examples of any good leader and pull out the characteristics that stand out to you.
What makes that person a good leader? Why do they command so much admiration and respect? If you can, reach out and see if they may be able to mentor you.
Remember, there are good and bad leaders as we talked about in The Damage of Anger & Insecurities To Your Legacy of Leadership so it’s important not to feel being a leader comes with an entitlement. It doesn’t. The heart of a leader is always one who serves.
After determining the skill sets you’d like to develop more of from good leaders, consider getting in touch more with your feminine energy.
A big misconception our society pushes on men is to show any sign of emotion or anything but strength is a sign of weakness. Unfortunately, this very thing is what destroys relationships when men don’t know how to express their emotions like anger or depression.
A healthy masculinity definitely involves you becoming comfortable processing and expressing your emotions. That means being comfortable with your feminine side and moving between the two energies of masculine and femininity that exists in every human being.
It's about finding your balance.
At the end of the day, only you get to decide the type of man and leader you’ll become.
No matter how much unlearning or learning you must do, put in the work because it’s worth it.
For your present situation and the future of those who will someday depend on you.
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