6 Signs You’re Suffering From Daddy Issues

Daddy issues is a term that’s been largely associated with the issues an adult woman has interacting with men due to the lack of her primary caregiver, her father, modeling what a secure connection with men looks like.

Let’s review some of the major warning signs that you may be suffering from daddy issues before we discuss what you can do to resolve them.


6 Major Warning Signs You Have Daddy Issues
A major misconception is that if your father was consistently present at home then you shouldn’t ever have to worry about experiencing daddy issues.

You may even be able to say he was a good enough dad who brought you presents, and you have several good memories together.

But this isn’t true.

Your father may have been physically present but abusive or emotionally unavailable. If your dad wasn’t intentional about providing you a well-rounded system of nurture and support you likely have underlying daddy to some extent.

Without him serving as a good role model you will normalize red flags, make excuses for toxic partners, and give too many chances to the wrong people.

Here’s how it’s going to show up in your adult relationships.


1 You’ll constantly find yourself attracted to emotionally unavailable men (the good stable men are boring)
These men tend to be narcissistic as well, meaning they are incapable of relaying to others on an emotional level. This has become a familiar pattern for you because it represents the relationship you had with your father growing up.

You were conditioned to not be so vulnerable with your emotions with your father for a number of reasons.

Maybe you learned he was too busy to make time for you so you learned to handle matters yourself or he never really asked you how you felt or how was school.

Maybe he wasn’t around enough.

This shows up in the interactions you tend to have with men.

You normalize not hearing from men you desire to have a connection with for long periods.

You fear “bothering” them too much to the point where they may find you annoying and abandon you for being too clingy.

​Because you don’t feel you can rely on them much you also tend to keep most of your deeper feelings and thoughts to yourself.

The few times you share something deep with them you may have been disappointed when their response was short or surface level.

Again, you probably glossed over it because they’re “busy” and didn’t have time to go on a deeper level with you.

The good men may not interest you because the stability they provide isn’t as attractive as the inner chaos you’ve been conditioned to normalize by your absently present father.

Another thing, not only are the men you’re attracted to emotionally unavailable, but you may find yourself struggling in this area as well.

You may avoid allowing yourself to feel or express emotions such as fear, anger, or sadness and only want others to see your happy and strong side.

You fear showing signs of weakness and vulnerability, especially in your relationships. This may be why you convince yourself you’re okay with just having lots of sex instead of seeking an emotional connection with men.


2 You feel you have to prove yourself
The few times your dad wasn’t busy with work and managed to show up at your games or school play, you felt the pressure to do your best to impress him. You finally had his attention and could show him how good you were at something to win his approval and admiration.

This shows up in your love life when you approach with the mentality of showing men how good of a girlfriend of how much quality “wife material” you can be to become an asset in his life. That ex who broke his heart? I’ll be 100xs better so he forgets her.

I’ll prove I’m the better woman to be with him and he’ll notice that I was the only right one for him all along.

You go above and beyond to make things happen for the relationship and require little to no effort from him. You make excuses for why he isn’t as invested in the relationship.

He’s too busy or tired from work to remember to call or get back to you. Months can go by without a legit date because he never finds the time.

All of this is acceptable to you as an ideal relationship because your connection to your father has normalized this for you.

You find yourself being the primary giver in the relationship: free nice gifts, dinner/cooking, trying sexual favors you may not necessarily be comfortable with, always being more supportive of his goals and dreams and even funding it.

If you find yourself constantly giving more in a relationship and not requiring much in return, you are subconsciously trying to prove your worth to the other person in exchange for their attention and admiration. You’re downplaying your own needs while sacrificing more than your fair share.

The flip side of this is that you also tend to make the hurtful things others do about you.

If someone does or says something hurtful like ignoring you or saying you’re too needy or emotional, you internalize that as a challenge to do better or as a dig that you’re the one with an issue.

You accept fault and may even apologize for the poor behavior displayed by others to appease them. This is a form of people-pleasing to get along and stay in their circle.

Becoming easily attached too early and holding onto your dream of the “perfect fairytale” even when it’s clear the other person isn’t prepared to be in an emotionally healthy relationship are also signs you are trying to prove yourself to keep them.


3 You always have “bad luck” with men
The reason you’re having bad luck on the dating scene is because you don’t know how to relate to men. Men think and operate differently and if you had a healthy example of this modeled for you during your childhood, navigating these dating streets would be easier.

For one, your father-figure would have warned you about the wrong type of men and been super protective of you once you started dating.

He would have made sure any young man taking you out knew to treat you respectfully and to always remain a gentleman otherwise he’d have him and the other men in your family to deal with.

Your string of “bad luck” comes from not having any guidance or boundaries with men. Men will either take advantage of this or your daddy issues will cause you to overextend yourself as we just covered in the previous sign.

To remedy this, you should seek to better understand men by signing up for my Decoding Men 101 Bootcamp.


4 You seek validation from men
This is one surefire way to put your daddy issues on display for the world to see. Women who fall into this category tend to do almost anything for the approval of men because they still secretly pine for the approval of the father they never had growing up.

This includes dressing proactively to get the attention of men.

It doesn’t matter whether the attention is good or bad. Attention is attention and you get a high from it.

If men aren’t ogling your body or seeking to get with you (even if just for a fling) you feel depressed and unseen. Your sense of self-esteem and worth is tied to the amount of attention you get from the number of men who like, comment, or give you any form of attention.

You will often confuse sex for love and believe that getting a man to have sex with you means he’s in love with you. You use sex as a means to try to “hook” men and keep them interested in you.

You tend to compare yourself to other women, especially a man’s exes and you need him to validate to you that “you’re better” than his past exes in every way. You need this type of validation constantly.

You tend to idolize men and this only makes the pain you experience that much more hurtful when they disappoint you with their shortcomings.


5 You subconsciously don’t trust men on more levels than one (Superwoman/Mommy syndrome)
You don’t feel men are dependable because your father never modeled that. You basically have to put on your superwoman cape and do everything otherwise it won’t get done.

If you don’t call or text, you’d never hear from him. If you don’t suggest or plan the date, it never happens. If you don’t get something done or call to remind him same thing.

You become his mother and treat him like a child, effectively not requiring him to “man up” because you’re already doing everything.

You don’t trust him to move smart enough or to speak up for himself, so you become overprotective and do it for him, whether or not he asked you to get involved.

This also reflects when you display jealousy or insecurities about him interacting with other women. If you’re not helicoptering or monitoring his every move you don’t trust him to be faithful to you.

You have a constant “need” to know his every move otherwise you don’t feel you can truly trust him.

This behavior may have been learned from your parents’ relationship if your dad cheated on your mother and it will no doubt sabotage every relationship you enter leaving you with what you fear most: abandonment. Relationships are based on trust and without it, it’s only a matter of time before the end.

Because of your lack of trust, you may also tend to push men away or break up with them before they can break up with you, effectively never giving the relationship a chance to grow.

This can also show up as a lack of boundaries on your part if you find it hard to say “no”. Instead of admitting your limits, you put on your cape to keep making things happen for someone who won’t learn how to appreciate you.

Being superwomen and mommy means you are attracted to men who “need” you to fill that role so you feel needed and irreplaceable. But this just means you normalize love as being taken for granted and draining. You have yet to experience a consistent source of good love, so you settle on the toxicity believing a good, honest man is a rare find.


6 You’re constantly afraid of being abandoned or ignored 
He never gets back or hardly takes an initiative? When either of you gets upset and you’re not talking to each other so hours or maybe even weeks go by with no call?

You either numb yourself and shrug it off saying “No big deal. I’mma keep it moving” and ignore the fact you had legit feelings to deal with and process.

Or you blow up his phone, stalk his social media, and ask his friends where he’s at if you aren’t already physically stalking his house.

All of this behavior comes from a place of fear of abandonment.

You quickly move from one bad relationship to another, without allowing any time in between for you to process and heal from the last one. You often stay in toxic relationships longer than you know you should because you feel that having someone toxic and familiar is better than having no one at all and being alone.


Can Men Have Daddy Issues?
Absolutely.

Women seem to get called out for it more because it’s more obvious when a woman clashes with a man in a relationship or marriage.

But for men, who tend to be less vocal, we sometimes need to peel back the layers a little more to learn how the type of connection or example his father set has impacted how he has embraced manhood.

It is not uncommon for a man who never knew his father during childhood but is able to meet with him later in life expressing surprise once he learns he followed closely in his father’s footsteps, in both good and bad ways.

More men have to learn to express themselves emotionally so their sons and daughters can grow up with healthy models of forming secure attachments.

Men exhibit their daddy issues by not feeling secure in their masculinity from having a poor or toxic role model.

This is often displayed in an aggressive outburst of uncontrolled rage or other harmful manners where they seek to establish dominance in violent ways as a means to overcompensate for this insecurity.

Men also experience the same signs as women, but again it may not be as obvious at first because they tend to be less vocal about their emotions.


How To Heal Daddy Issues
Daddy issues is another term used to describe attachment issues, more specifically an anxious attachment style. Anxious attachment means that you constantly fear being alone or abandoned.

Regardless of whether you had a traumatic childhood or not, your brain codes your experiences as “normal” so you tend to seek and find attraction to even the toxic patterns of potential partners.

Believe it or not, this is your brain’s way of trying to “fix” the broken relationship with your father through other men and giving you the love you missed out on as a child.

To begin your healing process it’s important to first acknowledge the patterns of the signs so you are aware of your triggers and what to avoid doing.
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You will have to work on healing from your trauma to build up your emotional confidence and security in knowing that you alone are enough, without the need to be in a relationship and seek validation from others.

Don’t allow yourself to get consumed by your past. You can only change the direction of your future using the present moment.

Use the HIS guide I have in my store on healing daddy issues to get started. It is self-healing therapy in an easy to read and process guide that won’t break the bank. I will walk you step by step on how to start your healing process.

You may also wish to consult a therapist after you’ve properly screened them to ensure they are the right fit for you and your unique needs.

At the end of the day, each of us as individuals has to be willing to recognize something isn’t right in our relationships and do the work to stop re-traumatizing ourselves by allowing our childhood conditioning to guide us.

Growing up without a good source of love from your biological parents will always be a hurtful process to overcome. The significance of our relationship with our fathers can’t be overstated when it comes to how it influences our behavior in adulthood.

But the cycle can be broken and replaced with a better one for yourself and future generations.

We can’t allow our pasts to continue to define our future, so if you’re noticed a pattern from your past relationships it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror.

You may have normalized your experiences because it’s all you’ve ever known, but that’s why platforms like this are here to help give you a wake-up check so that you can stop limiting yourself and get the help you need to experience a happier, fuller life.

Here’s to your Sexy! 💋

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