Men are suffering in their dating & love lifestyle.
No different than women, men also have a vision for how they envision the future of their love lives. Men also seek to find happiness and success in long term relationships with a woman and children of their own they hope to raise and leave behind a legacy. But there have been countless issues that have prevent those visions from becoming reality. Men have two options: 1) You can blame all women for why YOU can’t have YOUR dream of a successful, happy relationship in a happy home OR 2) You can DO SOMETHING about it, like all leaders do, and you can go after YOUR goals of finding success and happiness in your love life and building the happy home many of you wish you’d had growing up Here are 5 ways ALMA helps you get from point A, where you’re at currently to point B, where you want to be in your dating and love life with women, a family, and well on your way to securing a healthy, happy home. ALMA FOR MEN: #1 Makes dating fun again. There is absolutely no reason why dating should not be fun. True, dating comes with it’s share of responsibilities and learning curves and it’s not always going to be sunshine and skittles. BUT, this is one area of your life where the good should outweigh the bad. If the good doesn’t outweigh the bad, then it makes no sense to sign up for a lifetime of that dynamic now does it? ALMA will teach you have to navigate the world of women and dating women, so you stop stressing, stop second-guessing, stop doubting yourself. #2 Puts you in control of your love life. I don’t mean as in “you be the leader” men are commonly expected to be in relationships. I mean more you stop feeling helpless and like the future of your love life is outside of your control. You have one advantage in the fact that most women enter into relationships expecting men to lead. The problem is unless you know how to lead that particular woman, she starts to lose respect and trust in your ability to lead altogether. Then things spiral down into the you against me fights that lead to the end of the relationship. ALMA provides you an actual, step-by-step blueprint on how to successfully lead in your love life and with women in a way where you’re not compromising your values, your self-esteem, or other life goals because ALMA will teach you how to align with more of the right type of women that support, not conflict. #3 Helps you make smarter, timely decisions in your love life which = less risks, less wasted time, & less heartbreak. Men get hit harder from heartbreak and often take much longer to recover than women because too many men actively avoid processing and healing from hurt/pain. ALMA helps you make naturally better decisions because we start from the inside out to develop your unique tolerance and risk levels. ALMA helps protect you from going in blind so you stop getting whiplash from dating the wrong types of women. ALMA gives you the choice to choose with the knowledge of what you’re getting into upfront, sooner vs. later. #4 Helps you become more confident in choosing your dating/life partners with my unique step-by-step vetting process AND helps you develop the life skillset to repair your most important & meaningful relationships after conflict. As a leader, nowhere else is it more important for you as a man to lead than in the area of repairing the possibility of lost trust. If there is no trust, there is no healthy relationship and there goes your dreams of being in a happy, successful relationship and raising a family in a happy home. To reach your vision of success in a marriage it’s going to start from the very beginning of how you select the women you date/engage with. That’s exactly what ALMA helps you do. #5 Finally, but by far not the last benefit of signing up for ALMA, the ultimate goal of ALMA is to help more men prepare for achieving their vision of experiencing life/the future with the right life partner. ALMA is the foundational blueprint to help you achieve your love life goals. The best part is I’ve found a way to coach you through this process and making it unique to you and your values. ALMA is not a cookie cutter tool. It’s customizable to where you currently are in your love life & where you want to be one or even six months from now. I want you (men) to stop holding out on hope and a prayer that you’ll someday meet the right woman with the right combination of looks, smarts, and values. I want you (men) to be proactive about reaching your love life goals and to have the knowledge and confidence you need to succeed. No more leaving the future of your love life to chance. It’s time to lead, RIGHT NOW in how you approach the dating process. It’s time to be in control of your love life.
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It’s rare a man or woman gets into a relationship for no good reason at all. In other words, we normally seek a relationship FOR A REASON. Often we may be able to provide most of what we may want in one form or another but it’s be nice to share or experience it with another person whom we feel a special connection with.
As you go through this list consider whether you’d want or need a woman like this. Here are 4 top reasons women “don’t need a man” like this. 1 – Be unavailable more times than you’re actually available. Emotionally, mentally, physically but especially emotionally, mentally, and physically because they’re all connected. The #1 most common best way to teach a woman she don’t need you is to just simply not be there. You’re always too busy. You always make excuses for why you don’t have time. You don’t prioritize spending time connecting with her. You always leave it to her to figure out the logistics of the next date or whatever issue you/your relationship is having currently . . . This is the #1 surefire way she’ll learn real quick how much better off she is not relying on you at all for anything rather than relying on you and continually being disappointed and drained from the effort of trying to include you, but still ending up doing it all alone anyway. Who needs or wants to be in a relationship and still feel like they’re doing it alone/single? Doesn’t make sense or give reason to stay in a relationship with someone like that right? Especially if a person can do all that without it costing them as much time, effort/energy, money, or investment if they were just single or with someone who actually WANTED to be present anyway. Would you want/need a woman who was constantly unavailable? And who treated you as an option? 2 – You are not valued added to her life. You only add stress. You only know how to take from her. You want a woman to be your peace, your nurturer, your supporter, your “ride or die” your “50/50”, your safe space to dump all your emotions and trauma that you’re dealing with, your help when you’re short or having a hard day in life, your mother figure to your child. The list goes on. You’re draining and stressing her and offering very little value if any in return for all you’re asking her to do. This also includes when you’re lack of handling your responsibilities causes her to pick up your slack. You can’t pay your share of the bills, you can’t treat her to nice dates on a fairly consistent basis, you lose your money to additions/bad habits so it jeopardizes the entire household ability to keep lights on, water running, or a roof over heads/car transportation. Would you want/need a woman who mostly just drained you financially, emotionally, mentally? How badly do you need another stressor or liability in your life? 3 – No matter how much she tries to prove to you she cares about you and she loves you, you take it all for granted. You don’t appreciate it. Nothing she does is ever good enough. You keep finding and highlighting the other things she’s not doing. You keep moving the goal post. You keep cheating and looking for “the grass is greener” in other women. You keep testing her limits and boundaries to see how much she’ll let you get away with to keep you. The list goes on. It’s only when she finally leaves or threatens to that you switch up and play the good guy . . . but it only lasts a couple of weeks before you default back to your status quo. In short, you’re not happy with the man you are/you’re not the man you want to be yet and you’re taking that out on her by projecting your feelings of not being good enough/worthy onto someone who is trying to show love. How long would you stay with a woman like this? Do you see yourself growing to love or resent her more each day? 4 – Last, but not least men who abuse women or who haven’t healed/learned to regulate their emotions prove they are more trouble and danger than they are worth. Roughly, 85% of domestic violence victims are women (may include children) and the predator is a male. Men who buy into the controlling of women narrative in order for them to establish “masculinity” are also a part of the problem that prevent women from even feeling safe with men at all. It’s a no-brainer, especially for a woman who has experience domestic violence to have serious second thoughts about trusting a man with her safety and well-being if this has been her past experiences. It has literally become a matter of life and death and it’s simply not a risk she feels is worth taking. Do you look forward to coming home to an abusive partner and/or constantly making up lies to cover it up? Or constantly living in fear of the next moment they’ll snap on you? I want more men to think twice before speaking on or co-signing the red pill podcast on this topic, especially if you or your boys are contributing factors to any of the 4 reasons listed above that only justify why this type of man is not value added in any relationship. Men like this are actively part of the “don’t need a man” campaign and you’re on the wrong side of the equation. I hope this inspires you to be less of this type of person and actively become more of the type of man women DO need, want, and value in intimate relationships. I want more men to start keeping this in mind and start thinking more from a woman’s perspective so you can start to understand women better. As a man, there are certain things you don’t concern yourself with that women often do. None of the 4 reasons inspires a value added woman to sacrifice, invest in, commit to staying with a man who treats her like she’s not even a priority to him or like she’s just another option. The only type of woman who allows a man to treat her poorly like this and stays committed to him is a woman who hasn’t learned her value and is still stuck in a trauma bonding cycle that attracts her to men who mistreat or undervalue her gifts. This means NEITHER you nor her will ever experience a truly healthy relationship together due to it being a trauma bond in the first place. If men are truly concerned about the independent women who “don’t need a man” and you’re trying to prove that theory wrong, then men need to be willing to consistently show their value in relationships by deliver what WOMEN value in relationships, not what men think women value in relationships. How much value added to your dating & overall life would it be if you understood how to find, court, and marry your ideal wife? Ready to learn what it takes to truly succeed with more of the right, healthy woman in relationships so you can realize you vision of success in your dating & love life? Be one of the first 5 men to join ALMA and receive a step-by-step mentorship on how to establish the right foundation to becoming the ideal man most women dream of. Visit the link in my bio or the website https://www.healingissexylife.com/ Men Have a Tendency to Lose a Good Woman, then Want Her Back After She’s Finally DONE with Him2/9/2024 Some of you may be familiar with the saying men and women seem to start on opposite ends of the spectrum. Women usually start off hot with a man they are into, going all in until they’re burnt out. While men tend to move slower and warm up to letting their guard down.
But by the time a man warms up to being the man/leader she’s been begging him to be for the longest, she’s already burnt out and he’s already taught her how to not need him because she was always felt alone in the relationship anyway. A lot of men seem to have this complex where it takes “losing a good thing” to learn the value and appreciate it. Then you’re left trying to find those qualities or that woman in another woman and you’re stuck comparing anyone new to the way someone else did things that wasn’t appreciated. To make matters worse, a lot of men never truly understand why they’re this way or never learn to appreciate a good woman. A lot of men don’t know how to do that, what it looks like, or what it even means. A lot of men think women are desperate. That she’d be so willing to abandon herself and choose being in a situationship with you over having her needs met in a relationship. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who are willing to abandon themselves just to say they “got a man” at home. Even if he’s not really all there. A lot of men can’t handle when reality hits and when women say they would truly rather live and die alone, rather than continue to self-abandon herself for a man who doesn’t even know how to appreciate how much she cares about him. Let’s talk about the reasons why a lot of men often don’t recognize what they have until it’s gone. If you grew up in a household with emotionally unhealthy/toxic environments then you don’t know what safe love looks or feels like. It will feel foreign to you. It will scare you. You won’t trust it. You will fight it. Abuse it. Not value it. Until you’ve lost it and start comparing it to the lesser quality of “love” you encounter. You never had it and it shows because you don’t know how to value it. You felt entitled. You believed that she was just supposed to always be your source of love, encouragement, positivity, and support. All of that one-sided. While you just did whatever you wanted to do. Barely reciprocating back to her the energy she was bringing. You made excuses “I never asked her to do all that for me.” And you fail to realize that when it’s good love you should never need to ask. But you still took what she freely gave, until she didn’t have any more to give because you weren’t filling her back up. When she grew bitter and lashed out you cluelessly fired back as if this “new attitude” or “new occurrence/change” in her wasn’t something that had been building up over the past few months or years. Wake up cupcake. Get a reality check. The same way Rome wasn’t built in one day, neither are the problems that existed in any of your relationships. But somehow you found a way to make it all her fault that the relationship fell apart and didn’t work out. Your dating strategy is called “too little, too late” aka doing the bare minimum. You can’t seem to know the house is on fire until it’s already near burnt to the ground. Whether you’re too busy exploring options, doing your thing, or overwhelmed with life. You miss all the clear warning bells and signals. You barely contributed to the relationship unless she was nagging or fussing about something and you fiiiiiinally started to call more. You fiiiiiiinally took her out on an actual date instead of just “hanging out”. You fiiiiiiiiiiinally got her the flowers she’d been asking for. You fiiiiiiiiiiiinally did SOMETHING that a man who said he wanted to be in a relationship with her would generally, naturally do. Then you wanted her to be happy with that once-in-a-blue-moon gesture and leave you alone for a while. You expected her to settle and be good without a consistent level of effort showing that you cared. You don’t understand women or relationships. This is the result of lack of knowledge, entitlement, and poor role models. Social conditioning has made it easy for men to move about this way. You see it every time there’s a #metoo incident. You see it in the poor communication exchanges between men and women. You see it when men blame the women who are bad actors for why they treat ALL women poorly or the same way. If you’re set on moving though life not appreciating the value of a woman who is jumping through hoops to show she loves you and you can’t see it until she’s burnt out and moving on, you need to heal. You need to leave the good women alone and take care of what you got going on in-house first. Otherwise it doesn’t matter if you’re dating a toxic woman or a good woman. YOU are the one who won’t know how to deal and you’ll end up losing both because you’re toxic. Relationships always take two. Any number of these will keep you stuck miserably single or miserably floating from one relationship to the next. Ready to break the cycle? ALMA for men https://www.healingissexylife.com/alma-for-men.html#/ Here are the top 3 things you can expect if you’re considering becoming a client and hiring a matchmaker.
Register for A Lady's Man Academy (ALMA): https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p34/aladysmanacademy.html Register for Decoding Men 101 Bootcamp: https://www.healingissexylife.com/store/p20/decodingmenbootcamp.html Visit HIS Lifestyle Blog (free game): https://www.healingissexylife.com/lifestyle.html HIS Weekly Newsletter (also free game): https://www.healingissexylife.com/subscribe.html PART I. I knew this would be too good to wrap up in one live so stay tuned for part II. Thanks again @larrygriffie for sharing from your perspective. Love the gems you dropped. We covered: - What do Black men need Black women to understand - What are the biggest struggles Black men face? - What unique challenges are there dating Black women? - Are Black men operating from mostly a survival mentality? And why? Tune in 🖤 PART II PART II. Survival mode, discrimination, masculine/feminine energies, trauma. These are all topics we cover to wrap up part 2. Thank you again @larrygriffie for taking the time out to have this conversation 🖤
According to CDC, more than 60% of adults suffer from childhood trauma they are likely to carry throughout their entire lifetime. Whether they are unaware of the iceberg effects of their underlying trauma or they don’t know where to begin their healing process, unaddressed childhood trauma is usually the culprit that contributes to the (lack of) quality life experiences they may be suffering. In this article, we are going to cover the ways your childhood trauma may be showing up in your adult life and ruining your happiness. Truth #1: Unaddressed Childhood Trauma Is Carried With The Survivor, Remaining Usually Through Their Lifetime This first truth is key because so many people write off or worst, normalize their childhood trauma. They believe that it’s now “a thing of the past” that doesn’t affect their lives now to any significant degree. But nothing could be further from the truth. Our brain and body literally encode our childhood experiences for better or worse into our being. This serves as a learning and coping mechanism meant to help you (as a child) know what feels good, bad, safe, or dangerous. As a child when your body experiences unsafe circumstances, you started to develop coping strategies in the interest of your survival. Some examples are if your parents or caregivers were abusive you started to appease them to lessen the harm done. Even if they did something you knew was wrong as you grew older you wouldn’t say or do anything to object because your body and mind knew raising any objections would be “very bad” for you. This shows up in your adulthood by you normalizing abusive relationships and “fawning” to appease the offender instead of raising any objections. If your parents were emotionally unavailable it’s likely you developed a tendency to please them by proving your worth or by seeking the attention you lacked by misbehaving. This shows up in your adulthood by you going above and beyond to show others you care or feeling that you have to always give more than the other person so they can understand your worth and stay with you. More of us need to realize and dive deep to address the icebergs that started forming during our childhoods that we are still carrying to this day. Your childhood trauma isn’t something that “just happened so long ago” when you were a kid because your brain and body are literally carrying that trauma around inside of you as a defense mechanism. Truth #2: While It’s Unlikely You’ll Ever Get “Rid” of Your Childhood Trauma, You Can Control Your Triggers Better In Time The next truth is that your experiences as a child through being an adolescent, during a time where you had little control over what may have happened to you or your environment, will last your lifetime. The important thing then becomes not just what happened to you, but how are you going to navigate your life in light of it? You can choose to allow the trauma to rob you of a happy and fulfilling life or you can choose to fight back and not allow the trauma to win. Our goal isn’t to “get rid” of the trauma because depending on how long you endure the experience or how traumatic any single event was we can’t truly erase our memories or what I like to refer to as the “trauma mapping” our body and mind created. Our trauma can be wielded as a tool to help us better understand ourselves and become more self-aware of our triggers. It helps us better understand our needs in a relationship in order to feel secure and form healthy connections. While undertaking this healing process may seem scary at first, if you think about your current state and if you want to continue in that current state for the rest of your life, you may come to see that the perceived risks in starting sooner vs. waiting until later far outweigh any of your fears. Healing is almost like interest compounding. The sooner you start the faster it adds up and increases your quality of life! Truth #3: You Don’t Have to See A Therapist to Start Your Healing Journey, Although One May Be Helpful If You Can Afford One The final truth we’ll cover is how simple it can be for you to start taking control of your unhealed trauma right now, from the comforts of your home without necessarily inviting others into your privacy. One of the major hindrances to seeking help is the stigma associated with seeking a therapist or the expenses. But you can overcome both by using one of the HIS guides available HERE. Whether you seek a therapist or any other professional you have to realize that it’s on you to accept responsibility for not allowing the coping strategies your body developed to stay your norm. You have to do the work for yourself. Any outside help is only going to be able to provide you with resources and tools, but if you’re not using them it won’t change anything in the end, no matter how much you paid or how consistent you were with keeping your appointments. That’s the one thing I nor any other outside resources can’t give you: the self-motivation to say enough is enough and to do the work for your self-healing. SHOP THE GUIDES! Looking for affordable, inexpensive therapy you can start today from the comforts of home? Look no further than starting your HIS lifestyle with one of my $27 guidebooks! There are a great start to uncovering your root issues (the why & how to understanding your behavior). If you find yourself unhappy, struggling in relationships, repeating toxic cycles, attracted to narcissistic individuals, the empathetic doormat who everyone depends on but no one is there for you, and so much more these guides will be the start of literally changing your life and/or deepening your self-healing/love journey! Here's to your Sexy! 💋 CURE BAD DATING, PEOPLE CHASING & PLEASING, LOW STANDARDS, & PREMATURE CUT OFFS WORKBOOK
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No more chasing people who don't appreciate you or trying to prove your worth to those who don't qualify. Learn how to have it all and not prematurely cut off your benefits! Take the next step in becoming your BEST self so you can start to experience happier, healthier relationships & live a fuller life! Download digital file. Due to digital nature of this content this purchase is non-refundable. Must download file within 30 days from purchase. CURE BREAKUP OBSESSION, TOXIC DATING, & DADDY ISSUES WORKBOOK
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No more obsessing over anyone who wasn't worthy of your love. Uproot the true source of your obsession to attract the higher quality love life you deserve! Take the next step in becoming your BEST self so you can start to experience happier, healthier relationships & live a fuller life! Download digital file. Due to digital nature of this content this purchase is non-refundable. Must download file within 30 days from purchase. Dating apps no doubt have their cons, but I believe if used properly the good can out weight the bad. For today’s blog, let’s get you set up for success with what to do and what not to do when it comes to setting up your online dating profile.
1 Obviously great photos are a must, but here’s what not to do. Don’t post pictures of you smoking, drinking/bottles, shirtless, in a crowd or group where you’re hard to distinguish, looking bored (or boring), or old photos of you that are older than 3 years (or that would make someone feel they were cat-fished). There are usually options that allow you to notify women that you smoke or drink so use those. Smoking can be seen as unattractive and a turn off is a woman is into fitness or healthy living. Every, single one of your photos should clearly depict you and some of your personality. Photos of you doing something you enjoy from walking your dog to a trip to the beach. Add variety by dressing up nicely as well as casually. Into bikes? Showcase that attire. These are the kind of quality photos that share your personality and can inspire more meaningful conversations. 2 Don’t be negative. At all. It may be tempting to list out all your “Please don’t do this…” or “Come prepared to be my Queen by checking these boxes”. But just don’t. It’s a major turn-off for any new person to be introduced to you when you’re already trying to mold them into a box of someone they haven’t even had time to consider if they want to be all that for you. Your job is to showcase your good side and your honest side to allow them to make that determination for themselves that your quality of character will only entertain a certain quality of other characters. 3 Be a conversationalist, but not longwinded. No long lists or bullet points on what you like or what you’re looking for. Those do not generate quality dates or meaningful conversations. It makes dating more transactional. Be interesting by sharing something fun or unique about yourself or something that you did. Have you been someplace new or memorable? Do you have a fun story to share? How have you been growing and learning new things? Share a snippet and invite women to engage by saying “I’d love to share more if this sounds interesting to you.” If you can incorporate playfulness with a game that’s a plus. You can do so by inviting women to guess something about you or a picture or by starting a light debate on a controversial topic. For more tips on how to get women to date you read How To Get Women To Date You. Want my help understanding and dating women? Go from Good guy, Nice guy, and even Average guy to Mr. Right. Get the help you need to stop struggling with understanding (and keeping) quality dates and women in your love life!
Men interested in being in a healthy relationship and starting a family should know how important it is to be vulnerable, especially as a man.
Your wife needs you to be able to let her in and allow her to be your rock at times, instead of you always being so strong and building up walls. Your children, especially your sons need to see a balanced man; a strong man who knows how to process being human. One day most of us may be blessed to reach an old age which will be one of the most humbling experiences where we can’t always be as strong as we like. Relationships are never just about a man being a strong protector and provider. Men must also learn to be nurturing to provide a well-rounded balance to the family dynamic. For a man to successfully bond with a woman he has to be comfortable being vulnerable with her. The most common challenge when it comes to putting vulnerability into practice for men is just the act of owning their voice and putting it out there. Men have been largely conditioned to keep their emotions to themselves because other men and even women treat it as a sign of weakness. But the truth is men are human too, and humans have thoughts and emotions that need to be expressed.] Another challenge is that being vulnerable means facing the often-unaddressed trauma men have. This means processing and dealing with a host of emotions that men feel make them appear weak or not masculine. This is a common misconception the future health of our relationships needs more men to understand. We need you to have the courage to face your inner fears and traumas and we need you to overcome them. This is the only way we can start to experience healthier and happier relationships. A few practical ways for men to embrace vulnerability is to first commit to doing the work on yourself. Stop normalizing any traumatic experiences from your childhood and get the help you need to process and overcome them. This will help you choose better dating partners. The second way is to become intentional about not hiding your true thoughts and feelings and learn how to express yourself in a healthy way to your partner and other life situations such as at work or with family and friends. Becoming a well-rounded man shows up in the quality of the relationship. We are talking about creating a healthy lifestyle by becoming your best self in all areas. Interested in having me mentor you more on all things love, dating/relationships, and women? Sign up for my A Lady’s Man Academy dating course to be the first to know when registration opens.
Masculinity is a BIG factor in the world of men where it can mean survival of the fittest.
Unfortunately, there is a bit of toxic masculinity and confusion on what masculinity even is because a lot of men don’t have good examples to look up to. I’m not a man, so of course, I can’t speak on everything that comes with what healthy masculinity looks like. But I can speak on being human, which men still are as well as what a good father, husband, and life partner looks like, and hopefully, this can help you shape your own identity as a man. I believe every man is responsible for defining his masculinity and shaping himself into the man he desires to be. Regardless of his past, not having a present father figure every man who hopes to lead a family and leave a legacy must become capable of first leading himself. If you’re lost on where to start defining your masculinity or feel you have to unlearn a lot of toxic masculinity one good place I like to encourage men to start is to look at examples of any good leader and pull out the characteristics that stand out to you. What makes that person a good leader? Why do they command so much admiration and respect? If you can, reach out and see if they may be able to mentor you. Remember, there are good and bad leaders as we talked about in The Damage of Anger & Insecurities To Your Legacy of Leadership so it’s important not to feel being a leader comes with an entitlement. It doesn’t. The heart of a leader is always one who serves. After determining the skill sets you’d like to develop more of from good leaders, consider getting in touch more with your feminine energy. A big misconception our society pushes on men is to show any sign of emotion or anything but strength is a sign of weakness. Unfortunately, this very thing is what destroys relationships when men don’t know how to express their emotions like anger or depression. A healthy masculinity definitely involves you becoming comfortable processing and expressing your emotions. That means being comfortable with your feminine side and moving between the two energies of masculine and femininity that exists in every human being. It's about finding your balance. At the end of the day, only you get to decide the type of man and leader you’ll become. No matter how much unlearning or learning you must do, put in the work because it’s worth it. For your present situation and the future of those who will someday depend on you. Interested in having me mentor you more on all things love, dating/relationships, and women? Sign up for my A Lady’s Man Academy dating course to be the first to know when registration opens.
So you're back out there and ready to meet a woman who is beautiful, fun, and into you! But you're not quite sure how to attract her and get her to date you.
Here's how you can increase your chances of experiencing successful dates with women and get her to want to date you! 1. As with everything I share on this blog, start with self. In order to get a woman you like to date you, you have to first like yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses. Any areas about yourself that you don't like or feel make you a less desirable candidate make sure you're doing what you can to improve your odds. If you feel having a better source of income, a more athletic body, changing your wardrobe, or the way you wear your hair will help boost your image and confidence, then invest in making that happen. The second part of knowing yourself is so you attract and date women who are best suited for you. 2. Be approachable and personable. Most men and women are shy when it comes to dating. So you becoming a man who is both inviting and easy to approach as well as easy to talk to goes a long way! One way to do both is to be interested in others. Don't use of focus too much on "Me" or "I" statements. Focus more on getting to know her by asking well-placed questions which will help her relax and feel more connected to you. 3. Take the initiative. Some things don't change and a woman being attracted to a man who knows when and how to take charge is one of those things. If you want a woman to consider you as her man, then you must come prepared to show her what that experience will look like. A woman is wired to search for safety, confidence, and reliability in the man she dates. If she doesn't feel she can trust your leadership and guidance you will fail to earn her faith in you as her man. Learning what to say and do in various scenarios will help you prove your leadership capabilities and win her respect so she looks forward to dating you. Be clear in your intentions so there is no confusion. 4. Keep becoming your best self. The reason this is so important is because you want to create a safe space for both you and her to be happy and experience a full life if you're hoping for a future together. Dating should be a continual process of you both getting to know each other, even once married! Dating should never stop. Any insecurities or trauma from your past holding you back should also be continually worked on so that you can free yourself from the chaos entering your relationships and focus more on enjoying love. You'll be setting a good example for you both to enjoy a fruitful relationship that can stand the test of time. Notice how all of these steps have nothing to do with women and everything to do with yourself. Mistakes To Avoid There are definitely some mistakes you want to avoid when asking a woman out. Here are a few to be mindful of so you don't risk ruining your chances. 1. Making assumptions. You really don't know what you don't know and making faulty assumptions is one fast way to kill your chances. Don't assume anything, especially in the beginning. Don't assume she's attracted to you as much as you are to her, that she prefers calls over text, that she's looking for something serious, and that she likes dinner dates. Just don't do it. The good news is that this allows ample opportunity for good conversations so you can learn more about her and what is more of the right move to make. A close cousin of making assumptions is having entitlements. Again, don't assume you're entitled to anything at any time from a woman you are dating. 2. Not taking lead at all or being controlling. You have to find the right balance on this one. As I said before, women (even us strong, independent women) need to know the man we're dating can take lead. But taking lead does not mean being controlling and dictating everything. Think of what it means to be a good leader. A good leader is one who is actually serving those under his leadership. That means he is making the effort to better understand and take care of his followers and not trying to force his way onto others. When you fail to take the lead, especially in the early stages of dating you allow uncertainty to seep in and she will not rely on you to have answers or for guidance in the relationship. 3. Not knowing yourself and what you want. When you lack confidence and you don't know what you want it is grounds for inviting chaos and heartache. This is why before dating it's important to know yourself and the type of woman you hope to attract so that you can be successful in attracting more of the women you're interested in. You don't want to waste your time dating the wrong type of woman for you. You save time, money, and energy when you make sure your foundation of self and what you seek are in order first. Knowing yourself and establishing that confidence will save you from trying too hard or allowing an insecure woman to play games with your heart. What Women Want In A Man She's Dating So, what do we women look for in a man we're dating? Of course, the answer will vary, but generally, there are a few things most of us have in common. We are first looking for physical attraction. We want to be turned on by how hot you are just as much as that concept works for you. We want to get turned on when we think about how cute or hot we think you are. Every woman will have her idea of what's hot or not, same as every man has his own ideas. It's subjective so all we each can be is focused on becoming our best selves. After a physical attraction has been established we start to look for an emotional connection. Are you the type of man we feel comfortable with? Do we feel heard, seen, and cared for? Do we feel valued and loved? Do we feel understood? Finally, one other thing we consider is if a partnership with you can stand the test of time and what does that look like. Yes, you're attractive and we even have great chemistry together, but are we able to work out our differences in a civil manner without tearing each other down? Are our values in alignment or are we to different people who may be better off as friends? Those are just some of the things women are looking for in the men we date. Check out other articles for Men to keep learning! Interested in having me mentor you more on all things love, dating/relationships, and women? Sign up for my A Lady’s Man Academy dating course to be the first to know when registration opens. |
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