DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE FOR ACTIVELY HEALING WOMEN
HEAR HOW DSC HAS CHANGED DATING & LOVE LIFE EXPERIENCES FOR BOSS WOMEN
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Summary of DSC Experience
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Right after she completed DSC she meet her dream guy & is still going strong! But she almost missed out! Watch til the end.
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HERE'S THE SHORT & SWEET VERSION
DSC is dating with your emotional health & body's nervous system as your guiding light! As humans, our emotional brains are often waaay ahead of our logical brains. This explains why we may be so caught up "in love" that we ignore the "obvious" red flags!
So my DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE is here to equip you with the tools to well... DATE SMARTER by understanding how your emotional health ties into your dating/love lifestyle as well as proven strategies & tactics you can use to properly vet for your future husband!
We'll address:
- Old, limiting belief systems & replace them with the dating lifestyle you need to attract the quality men you desire. You will embody your inner IT GIRL once we're finished!
- Dating multiple men and how to vet for exclusivity within the first 4 months, and ultimately for your future husband!
- How to schedule a MONTH'S worth of weekend dates within ONE week!
- How to enjoy dating again on YOUR terms, building emotionally healthy and safer connections with men!
And so much more!
For specifics, check out the daily break down below!
Ready to level up your love life and date like an IT GIRL?
So my DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE is here to equip you with the tools to well... DATE SMARTER by understanding how your emotional health ties into your dating/love lifestyle as well as proven strategies & tactics you can use to properly vet for your future husband!
We'll address:
- Old, limiting belief systems & replace them with the dating lifestyle you need to attract the quality men you desire. You will embody your inner IT GIRL once we're finished!
- Dating multiple men and how to vet for exclusivity within the first 4 months, and ultimately for your future husband!
- How to schedule a MONTH'S worth of weekend dates within ONE week!
- How to enjoy dating again on YOUR terms, building emotionally healthy and safer connections with men!
And so much more!
For specifics, check out the daily break down below!
Ready to level up your love life and date like an IT GIRL?
Check out what other ladies are saying below!
So much great feedback so I highlighted some of my favorites!
So much great feedback so I highlighted some of my favorites!
"I just went on my first blind date yesterday and my biggest paradigm shift that I'm becoming aware of is I do not have to be accommodating to other people! Let's be accommodating to the woman and life that I want!"
"My biggest take away from today was all the questions centered around ME, not the man. That caused me to sit and think about why I seem to operate from a scarcity mindset that just doesn't serve me in the end."
"I am always thrown off when guys give me compliments . . . I figure what do they want from me? My biggest take away was I need to sit down and figure out and do this (dating) intentionally. Not just randomly read profiles. This helped me understand I'm not looking for a husband. I'm looking for a significant other."
"I have to sit with these questions. There's a lot where I was like hmm, I'm not sure if I know the answer to that. The reason being I realized recently I am emotionally unavailable and that's why I'm attracting emotionally unavailable men. It's (been) very difficult to think outside of the space like, what can somebody else (a man) bring that would be important to me."
"Previously I've always been the type that's like, oh this person isn't really aligning with the things that I want, but I like them and I worry if I walk away from this situation there's not going to be anybody else after. But I've realized I don't have to stay in in a situation that doesn't serve me anymore. The ball's in my court. I don't have to stay and work it out."
"My biggest take away from today was all the questions centered around ME, not the man. That caused me to sit and think about why I seem to operate from a scarcity mindset that just doesn't serve me in the end."
"I am always thrown off when guys give me compliments . . . I figure what do they want from me? My biggest take away was I need to sit down and figure out and do this (dating) intentionally. Not just randomly read profiles. This helped me understand I'm not looking for a husband. I'm looking for a significant other."
"I have to sit with these questions. There's a lot where I was like hmm, I'm not sure if I know the answer to that. The reason being I realized recently I am emotionally unavailable and that's why I'm attracting emotionally unavailable men. It's (been) very difficult to think outside of the space like, what can somebody else (a man) bring that would be important to me."
"Previously I've always been the type that's like, oh this person isn't really aligning with the things that I want, but I like them and I worry if I walk away from this situation there's not going to be anybody else after. But I've realized I don't have to stay in in a situation that doesn't serve me anymore. The ball's in my court. I don't have to stay and work it out."
"I really liked the qualifiers. I never thought about it in that way... This allows me to really sit and assess getting back to core values and things I want and need."
"Accessibility and the need to make time for this (dating) is something that I need to do. And I know as a professional, anything that's important you need to put time into it and make time for it. I need to do that if I want something positive out of this (dating)."
"I LOVE .... It's so helpful to have structure like this on something that's just so morphosis and flowy. I didn't have parents to learn from or advice from that, so having an ACTUAL framework and even a timeline of this kind of stuff I feel a lot less anxious. I have a structure but I don't have to be the one to think of it, I just have it there and I can lean on it so that makes me feel more safe which is really cool and helpful."
"I've heard so much about the fallback method before but I've never really done it and had fears of using it if I really liked someone although I know they're not meeting my expectations of what I need. It's nice to have that middle ground and option to step back and keep dating other people. It's not my responsibility."
"I feel like I've done everything backwards! I wish we'd had this conversation maybe a few months or even a year ago! We considered breaking up for a few months. I unintentionally used this method and it was like 180!"
"Accessibility and the need to make time for this (dating) is something that I need to do. And I know as a professional, anything that's important you need to put time into it and make time for it. I need to do that if I want something positive out of this (dating)."
"I LOVE .... It's so helpful to have structure like this on something that's just so morphosis and flowy. I didn't have parents to learn from or advice from that, so having an ACTUAL framework and even a timeline of this kind of stuff I feel a lot less anxious. I have a structure but I don't have to be the one to think of it, I just have it there and I can lean on it so that makes me feel more safe which is really cool and helpful."
"I've heard so much about the fallback method before but I've never really done it and had fears of using it if I really liked someone although I know they're not meeting my expectations of what I need. It's nice to have that middle ground and option to step back and keep dating other people. It's not my responsibility."
"I feel like I've done everything backwards! I wish we'd had this conversation maybe a few months or even a year ago! We considered breaking up for a few months. I unintentionally used this method and it was like 180!"
"What I love about (DSC) is we do these quick sessions but you're very honed in really well with things that are actually ACTIONABLE. I've done some other programs where it sounds and feels good, but when it gets down to the nitty gritty it's not a lot of precise, actionable things to do. I like you hone in on these really subtle things and just in my experience, OMG if I would have known this 2 years ago I would have saved myself so much trouble!"
"There's a workbook so everything is super structured, which works for me because I have a bigillion notes in my phone. It's nice to have everything in once specific place and everything is very well explained. It's definitely something you're working through and not a whole bunch of information and go out and figure out how to do this, leaving you with nothing. That's very great and perfect for me! It's stuff you can Do and not ideas and concepts you don't know how to execute."
"This is definitely one of the better programs, well not even one... THE better program."
"I like the workbook because I process things quickly and then I have to go back and write and work it. So that's my favorite part, having the opportunity to do that. This is FANTASTIC and I'm so glad I didn't pay other people!"
"I'm a visual person so having the workbook to refer back to, write things down, and sit and think helps me in everything. I would definitely recommend it to other women. The thoroughness of the things you've touched on I haven't seen in other coaching programs that are everywhere. Those (other programs) are always quick and surface(y), it's not as thorough as yours!"
"It made me think of my cousin and friends who just dropped their whole lives for a man they met 2 weeks ago. I was just sitting in my car thinking, I'm going to write down I want a man who encourages me to keep in touch with my friends and community. Because you spoke about it. Those little things are helpful."
"There are a lot of things I've learned these past 3 days, where I've been in situations where I never thought this deep into it. This is really good!"
"I have a short attention span. The workbook allows me time to reflect and that's how I learn best. Part of the reason I chose your program was because of your spiritual alignment, such as making sure a woman is self-aware and healing herself. So it's not about the guy. At the end of the day your longest relationship is going to be with yourself. I like that you really stressed and incorporated that into one's dating lifestyle as well."
"There's a workbook so everything is super structured, which works for me because I have a bigillion notes in my phone. It's nice to have everything in once specific place and everything is very well explained. It's definitely something you're working through and not a whole bunch of information and go out and figure out how to do this, leaving you with nothing. That's very great and perfect for me! It's stuff you can Do and not ideas and concepts you don't know how to execute."
"This is definitely one of the better programs, well not even one... THE better program."
"I like the workbook because I process things quickly and then I have to go back and write and work it. So that's my favorite part, having the opportunity to do that. This is FANTASTIC and I'm so glad I didn't pay other people!"
"I'm a visual person so having the workbook to refer back to, write things down, and sit and think helps me in everything. I would definitely recommend it to other women. The thoroughness of the things you've touched on I haven't seen in other coaching programs that are everywhere. Those (other programs) are always quick and surface(y), it's not as thorough as yours!"
"It made me think of my cousin and friends who just dropped their whole lives for a man they met 2 weeks ago. I was just sitting in my car thinking, I'm going to write down I want a man who encourages me to keep in touch with my friends and community. Because you spoke about it. Those little things are helpful."
"There are a lot of things I've learned these past 3 days, where I've been in situations where I never thought this deep into it. This is really good!"
"I have a short attention span. The workbook allows me time to reflect and that's how I learn best. Part of the reason I chose your program was because of your spiritual alignment, such as making sure a woman is self-aware and healing herself. So it's not about the guy. At the end of the day your longest relationship is going to be with yourself. I like that you really stressed and incorporated that into one's dating lifestyle as well."
"So helpful! Practicing just simply falling back ESP when actions don’t match words makes so much sense. I def have seen where I have been too afraid to do this in the past. Really knowing and understanding why this is so important is very helpful, bc I can see how this can avoid a lot of as u call it struggle love. Omg so over struggle love for real. Seen it growing up my entire life and I want to evolve past participating in it anymore."
"This session was really good! I always thought dating was hard. Like if you’re not having fun stick it out. Don’t tell because you don’t want to damage egos or stay around because if you fall back you’re rude. I have people pleasing tendencies sometimes especially in dating. I do like all the things that I can look out for in a man that serve me too because I’m important as well. I also have been scared to voice what I’m looking for in a man because I always thought that by doing so I would come across as needy. A lot of things I’m going to need to work on. And I’ve also come to realize that love doesn’t need to be a struggle. Nobody deserves to be drug through hell and back to be deemed “worthy” of love. And struggle love is not the kind of love I want."
"I'm feeling I need to fall back (from dating). There's a lot to this and I feel like if you want to do it right you probably shouldn't start until you're actually ready. Work the (DSC) workbook and make sure you understand this isn't something I feel I can do in the process, while I'm trying to (date). I have to read it, get it in me and then start doing it and go back and check. (Otherwise) I'd be a month down the line doing something completely wrong!"
"Definitely feeling more confident interacting (with men). The last couple guys I've spoken to this week I've immediately put them on my vetting score card!"
"I feel more confident and relaxed. I feel all these tips and tools have taken the pressure off of me. I come from a culture where getting married and having kids is everything by 25. Well I'm 35. I think deconstructing all that I've learned in the past and especially the driver's seat part (Day 1) puts me in a position to just be relaxed and have a good time."
"It's really opening my eyes to a lot of things I thought I knew about myself. I spent a lot of time doing the core activities last night. I really wanted to do a mental mind map. Things that I thought were core values really aren't."
"I was just too eager and going about this all wrong due to pressure from my family. I'm glad I've learned what I've learned!"
"Learning this at 35 as opposed to 55, you are way ahead of the curve!"
"This session was really good! I always thought dating was hard. Like if you’re not having fun stick it out. Don’t tell because you don’t want to damage egos or stay around because if you fall back you’re rude. I have people pleasing tendencies sometimes especially in dating. I do like all the things that I can look out for in a man that serve me too because I’m important as well. I also have been scared to voice what I’m looking for in a man because I always thought that by doing so I would come across as needy. A lot of things I’m going to need to work on. And I’ve also come to realize that love doesn’t need to be a struggle. Nobody deserves to be drug through hell and back to be deemed “worthy” of love. And struggle love is not the kind of love I want."
"I'm feeling I need to fall back (from dating). There's a lot to this and I feel like if you want to do it right you probably shouldn't start until you're actually ready. Work the (DSC) workbook and make sure you understand this isn't something I feel I can do in the process, while I'm trying to (date). I have to read it, get it in me and then start doing it and go back and check. (Otherwise) I'd be a month down the line doing something completely wrong!"
"Definitely feeling more confident interacting (with men). The last couple guys I've spoken to this week I've immediately put them on my vetting score card!"
"I feel more confident and relaxed. I feel all these tips and tools have taken the pressure off of me. I come from a culture where getting married and having kids is everything by 25. Well I'm 35. I think deconstructing all that I've learned in the past and especially the driver's seat part (Day 1) puts me in a position to just be relaxed and have a good time."
"It's really opening my eyes to a lot of things I thought I knew about myself. I spent a lot of time doing the core activities last night. I really wanted to do a mental mind map. Things that I thought were core values really aren't."
"I was just too eager and going about this all wrong due to pressure from my family. I'm glad I've learned what I've learned!"
"Learning this at 35 as opposed to 55, you are way ahead of the curve!"
"Before this challenge I didn't have an issue approaching men, but it would quickly dwindle off. I was overthinking and had an end goal in mind. These past 5 days, especially learning more about the core values, different methods, and the central nervous system really allowed me to put somethings in perspective. I have a bit more to back me up before I go out into the field. I feel more prepared and I respond slower and think through answers more."
"I've noticed I've stopped monopolizing the conversation. Those kind of little things have improved."
"I recommend sitting down with the workbook. Don't just flip through. Go back take notes. Take the workbook part seriously! This isn't a magic wand. It's a work in progress until you reach your end goal."
"I struggled with falling back. I felt I had to stay consistent even if they weren't what I was looking for. I had a hard time setting boundaries and saying this isn't what I want due to childhood trauma. Ever since this challenge, I've realized I don't need to do that."
"Relationships are always geared towards what a man would want. But you CAN put yourself first and consider what you want and your values. I'm glad and feel more confident about if it's not working for me, it's not working for me."
"(The DSC workbook helps you) figure out the things that you want and the things that you're looking for so you're not going through the motions (of dating) blindly. I definitely recommend taking the time, putting in the work, and effort. I feel like once applied, you can be very successful at (dating)."
"One of my biggest takeaways is how to embody boundaries from the start better. Usually if a guy hit 7 out of 10 things I just thought "make it work". Having encouragement from a real coach, seeing the logic on how it would have applied to a lot of past relationships, it's like the whole point is finding someone who is a stellar match for you. It's not about making somebody into a match. Throw out this whole idea of trying to change a man."
"I've gotten into fights and debates being intellectual and trying to prove my point and get validation, but (I realized) we don't need that as women. Just stand firm in this is what works for me and this is what doesn't and it's OK if your life doesn't match."
"I like how clean cut and actionable and how much sense all these recommendations make. The actionable, simple tools make so much sense!"
"It's not an incredibly long course where you get bored and tuned out. It's to the point."
"I've noticed I've stopped monopolizing the conversation. Those kind of little things have improved."
"I recommend sitting down with the workbook. Don't just flip through. Go back take notes. Take the workbook part seriously! This isn't a magic wand. It's a work in progress until you reach your end goal."
"I struggled with falling back. I felt I had to stay consistent even if they weren't what I was looking for. I had a hard time setting boundaries and saying this isn't what I want due to childhood trauma. Ever since this challenge, I've realized I don't need to do that."
"Relationships are always geared towards what a man would want. But you CAN put yourself first and consider what you want and your values. I'm glad and feel more confident about if it's not working for me, it's not working for me."
"(The DSC workbook helps you) figure out the things that you want and the things that you're looking for so you're not going through the motions (of dating) blindly. I definitely recommend taking the time, putting in the work, and effort. I feel like once applied, you can be very successful at (dating)."
"One of my biggest takeaways is how to embody boundaries from the start better. Usually if a guy hit 7 out of 10 things I just thought "make it work". Having encouragement from a real coach, seeing the logic on how it would have applied to a lot of past relationships, it's like the whole point is finding someone who is a stellar match for you. It's not about making somebody into a match. Throw out this whole idea of trying to change a man."
"I've gotten into fights and debates being intellectual and trying to prove my point and get validation, but (I realized) we don't need that as women. Just stand firm in this is what works for me and this is what doesn't and it's OK if your life doesn't match."
"I like how clean cut and actionable and how much sense all these recommendations make. The actionable, simple tools make so much sense!"
"It's not an incredibly long course where you get bored and tuned out. It's to the point."
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DAY 1: THE DATING MINDSET
9 Inner Reflections Strategies to Know Whether You're Ready for Quality Dating & Life Partners
(you can do this in about 5 minutes & learn what areas to focus on to attract better quality!)
The exact Emotional Health & Dating Methods I use to Prepare for my Husband During my Season of Singleness
(you want to do this NOW before even meeting your future husband so you can save yourself a LOT of heartbreak!)
Becoming HER - Your Inner It Girl
(tap into your inner IT Girl and start dating like one!)
Design Your Ideal Love Lifestyle Vision & Action Plan
(use my guide to design your ideal love life & action plan for getting what you want out of your love life!)
(you can do this in about 5 minutes & learn what areas to focus on to attract better quality!)
The exact Emotional Health & Dating Methods I use to Prepare for my Husband During my Season of Singleness
(you want to do this NOW before even meeting your future husband so you can save yourself a LOT of heartbreak!)
Becoming HER - Your Inner It Girl
(tap into your inner IT Girl and start dating like one!)
Design Your Ideal Love Lifestyle Vision & Action Plan
(use my guide to design your ideal love life & action plan for getting what you want out of your love life!)
DAY 2: DATING LESSONS & STRATEGY
Underlying Mistakes Women Make that Sabotages Their Happiness & the Relationship
(3 key lessons & 7 affirmations you'll need to keep in the forefront of your mind while dating TODAY!)
My Top 3 Simple Strategies for Keeping Dating Fun, Easy, and ON YOUR TERMS!
(3 MUST HAVE strategies for dating men on YOUR terms!)
Learn the 4 Things Men Desire from Women
(These are the ONLY 4 things you need to keep men connected & interested in you!)
Create Your Dating Goal Vision & Calendar
(use my dating planner to set your future relationship vision, goals, and interactions with men. No more boring dating lifestyle that goes nowhere!)
Making the First Move (Keep It Classy!)
(3 key mindset shifts for approaching & impressing men, along with 5 impressive conversation starters!)
(3 key lessons & 7 affirmations you'll need to keep in the forefront of your mind while dating TODAY!)
My Top 3 Simple Strategies for Keeping Dating Fun, Easy, and ON YOUR TERMS!
(3 MUST HAVE strategies for dating men on YOUR terms!)
Learn the 4 Things Men Desire from Women
(These are the ONLY 4 things you need to keep men connected & interested in you!)
Create Your Dating Goal Vision & Calendar
(use my dating planner to set your future relationship vision, goals, and interactions with men. No more boring dating lifestyle that goes nowhere!)
Making the First Move (Keep It Classy!)
(3 key mindset shifts for approaching & impressing men, along with 5 impressive conversation starters!)
DAY 3: THE DATING PROCESS & ETIQUETTE
Dating Process Timeline
(learn the 2 stages of dating & step-by-step proper vetting using my vetting score card!
By the end of this period you will make a confident decision in whether to become exclusive or stop dating!)
How to Identify the RIGHT Life Partner for YOU
(use my 5 core values metrics to learn exactly how to know he's THE ONE, without it taking months or years!)
The RIGHT Way to Process a Breakup
(4 simple steps to get over a hard breakup faster!)
Proper Dating Etiquette
(Top essential etiquettes on response time & when to talk about harder topics, includes scripts!)
(learn the 2 stages of dating & step-by-step proper vetting using my vetting score card!
By the end of this period you will make a confident decision in whether to become exclusive or stop dating!)
How to Identify the RIGHT Life Partner for YOU
(use my 5 core values metrics to learn exactly how to know he's THE ONE, without it taking months or years!)
The RIGHT Way to Process a Breakup
(4 simple steps to get over a hard breakup faster!)
Proper Dating Etiquette
(Top essential etiquettes on response time & when to talk about harder topics, includes scripts!)
DAY 4: SPEAKING A MAN'S LANGUAGE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
Learning to Speak A Man's Language So You Can Get What You Want
(3 unique strategies & affirmations to communicate effectively without nagging, begging, or giving ultimatums!)
(3 unique strategies & affirmations to communicate effectively without nagging, begging, or giving ultimatums!)
DAY 5: The 5 Metrics of Successful Marriages
The 5 Metrics of Successful Marriages
(the ONLY 5 key areas of focus you need RIGHT NOW to KNOW he's your husband & that the marriage will last a lifetime!)
(the ONLY 5 key areas of focus you need RIGHT NOW to KNOW he's your husband & that the marriage will last a lifetime!)
NEVER DREAD YOUR DATES AGAIN
“I’ve created the first all-in-one actual blueprint to navigating the dating world for the busy career/BOSS woman. My A-Z process is no-shit/fluff, direct, concrete, actionable, give me what I need to succeed in my love life & dating men! And I don’t make learning any more complicated than it needs to be. That’s exactly what my DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE offers for your day-to-day dating & love lifestyle.” - Mel Williams
The DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE for Actively Healing Women is a 5 Day live experience (pre-recorded) designed for the successful, type-A personality career woman who knows how to get things DONE in her career life but may be struggling to make time to enjoy her love life and confidently vet men.
Once you’re in, you’ll receive EVERYTHING you need on Day 1, including my detailed step-by-step DSC workbook outlining the processes, timelines, and other tools you’ll need to experience successful, healthy relationships with men.
I repeat, these are actual, concrete steps you must take. Not the warm, fuzzy dating advice other dating coaches give you without any solid, concrete steps on how to go about actually execute and apply to your life.
It’s time to stop feeling drained, fearful, or depressed in your love life and KNOW with confidence the day you encounter your future husband could be TODAY AND you’ll be PREPARED to make a series of confident decisions on your journey to selecting your future life partner/husband.
Learn how to ENJOY dating men and create FUN, SEXY experiences that keep you in your playful feminine without needing a roster! Do all this while vetting properly for Mr. Right on your terms and keeping your body’s nervous system (your emotional health) at peace. Ready for this adventure? Are you ready to accept the challenge? Let's go!
"Ladies, if you’re not in the driver’s seat of your love life you’re doing it wrong!" - Mel Williams
MY CURATED DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT IS PERFECTLY DESIGNED FOR
The ambitious, self-driven career woman whose dating/love life just hasn’t caught up to match, yet!
She is actively dating for long-term commitment and/or marriage with her ideal life partner. She is PICKY, because she knows her worth and she’s done settling for emotionally unavailable partners and riding the struggle love bus. She is committed to challenging herself outside of her comfort zone, self-growth, and her self-healing journey by actively doing the self-work (i.e. therapy) and maintaining a positive outlook (though not delusional) in life.
She is comfortable in her skin, owns her authentic identity, and just needs some guidance on how to productively use her single season/dating to attract her future life partner/husband.
She is able to wield the knowledge she’ll learn using this blueprint to create the love life she’s only ever been able to dream of . . . until now.
The DSC blueprint is applicable to all ages, as long as the previous criteria have been met.
She is actively dating for long-term commitment and/or marriage with her ideal life partner. She is PICKY, because she knows her worth and she’s done settling for emotionally unavailable partners and riding the struggle love bus. She is committed to challenging herself outside of her comfort zone, self-growth, and her self-healing journey by actively doing the self-work (i.e. therapy) and maintaining a positive outlook (though not delusional) in life.
She is comfortable in her skin, owns her authentic identity, and just needs some guidance on how to productively use her single season/dating to attract her future life partner/husband.
She is able to wield the knowledge she’ll learn using this blueprint to create the love life she’s only ever been able to dream of . . . until now.
The DSC blueprint is applicable to all ages, as long as the previous criteria have been met.
“This challenge lays the groundwork for healing the gender war between men and women. We need to better understand and learn how to have healthier relationships with one another. The DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE and workbook provides this bridge for women.” - Mel Williams
HERE’S WHY YOUR LOVE LIFE ISN’T GOING THE WAY YOU’D LIKE . .
In the past you may have been “guilty” of doing the following. Don’t feel bad or any shame about it. We’ve all been down a few of these roads and it’s a part of our growth journey!
-You’re winging it
-You’re following poor advice from other relationship coaches
-You’re using a generic matchmaker whose process is also um, generic
-You’re going on blind dates (see matchmaker)
-You’re burning yourself out using dating apps incorrectly
-You still haven’t found a good therapist and been consistent with sessions
Typically this looks like struggling with a host of insecurities surrounding your limiting beliefs with men, waiting for your ideal man to find your or for God to send him (but you’re still not prepared on what it takes to have a healthy relationship), ignoring or completely missing red flag behaviors from toxic men, getting stuck in a cycle of “first dates” because it never progresses any further, putting all your eggs in one basket too soon and only dealing with one man for months/years just for things to not work out, and getting yourself stuck in a very unhappy, miserable marriage.
If you have ever found yourself in one or more of these circumstances, you’re definitely in the right place to learn how to minimize these poor experiences with men!
-You’re winging it
-You’re following poor advice from other relationship coaches
-You’re using a generic matchmaker whose process is also um, generic
-You’re going on blind dates (see matchmaker)
-You’re burning yourself out using dating apps incorrectly
-You still haven’t found a good therapist and been consistent with sessions
Typically this looks like struggling with a host of insecurities surrounding your limiting beliefs with men, waiting for your ideal man to find your or for God to send him (but you’re still not prepared on what it takes to have a healthy relationship), ignoring or completely missing red flag behaviors from toxic men, getting stuck in a cycle of “first dates” because it never progresses any further, putting all your eggs in one basket too soon and only dealing with one man for months/years just for things to not work out, and getting yourself stuck in a very unhappy, miserable marriage.
If you have ever found yourself in one or more of these circumstances, you’re definitely in the right place to learn how to minimize these poor experiences with men!
WOULDN’T YOU LOVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS INSTEAD?
Dating SHOULD be FUN!
You should be consistently going on fun dates, receiving nice thoughtful gifts and flowers, confident in attracting your ideal man when you see him, enjoying feeling seen, heard, and valued by said ideal man on regular dates because he’s just as excited as you to be there!
If you’re doing the work and applying my dating blueprint you DESERVE to (and it’s only a matter of time before you) find your ideal life partner that you can build a life with. I’ve spoken to women who have just given up on the idea of dating men or ever finding happiness inside a relationship. But I’m here to tell you it’s still possible!
Your life partner/husband is out there!
But the one question you’ll need to be able to confidently answer is “Are you prepared for him once you’re able to properly vet & identify him?”
You should be consistently going on fun dates, receiving nice thoughtful gifts and flowers, confident in attracting your ideal man when you see him, enjoying feeling seen, heard, and valued by said ideal man on regular dates because he’s just as excited as you to be there!
If you’re doing the work and applying my dating blueprint you DESERVE to (and it’s only a matter of time before you) find your ideal life partner that you can build a life with. I’ve spoken to women who have just given up on the idea of dating men or ever finding happiness inside a relationship. But I’m here to tell you it’s still possible!
Your life partner/husband is out there!
But the one question you’ll need to be able to confidently answer is “Are you prepared for him once you’re able to properly vet & identify him?”
LET’S BUST A FEW COMMON MYTHS & MISCONCEPTIONS
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: It’s better to use a matchmaker than online dating apps because they add a personal human touch element that just works better!
MEL FACT: You’ve seen the reality TV shows like “Married At First Sight” or any other series that uses a therapist and/or matchmaker to put couples together. So, you know firsthand that majority of those setups don’t end up working, although we may enjoy watching the train-wreck unfold for entertainment! The truth is there’s a bit more that goes into creating healthy relationships, and at the end of the day you alone can make the ultimate decision on whether or not you’ve met the right match. Not your therapist. Not a matchmaker. In the case of a matchmaker, I’ve found most are basically using your love “resume” to put you on blind dates then leaving you alone to figure out how to progress things forward on your own. Trust me, just going on more dates is NOT making progress in the right direction (we cover this inside of my blueprint)!
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: If I sign up for dating apps and stay consistent, I’ll eventually find my life partner.
MEL FACT: While I do advocate for using dating apps as a great tool to connect with a wider range of potential partners, let’s be honest. It can feel overwhelmingly like opening Pandora’s box! You have so many “options” to wade through, so many toads to kiss, and many of us feel utterly burnt out having the same going nowhere small talks or same going nowhere experiences with a number of different men. It takes a toll on your mental and emotional health when you’ve put so much effort and still end up disappointed at the lack of quality experiences. Remember, dating apps are just one tool you can use, but you still need to learn how to use this tool effectively. This is also covered in detail inside of my blueprint.
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: “I need a roster of men to find “the one.”
MEL FACT: First, having a roster puts your focus on the wrong thing . . . . You focus on quantity over quality. Not to mention the fact you’re objectifying men and that’s not exactly a great start or proper way to vet for your future life partner/husband! If you’re focused on maintaining a roster of men you’re similar to dating apps, you may find yourself not getting past the surface. The key here is to ask yourself “Is my connection with this man adding value to my life or just taking up space?” Rosters run you the risk of settling for a bunch of placeholders and missing your shot at your ideal partner. In this sense, a placeholder roster man is the kind of man you may spend time with, but the relationship isn’t really progressing towards anything serious. That’s where my vetting and qualifying tools inside of the DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT will help you only invest your time in quality men, not placeholders.
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: I need to work on being more feminine.
MEL FACT: I believe your femininity is your personal, unique brand of confident sexy. You may not define that or looking/feeling your best by social expectations of a woman wearing red lipstick and high heels. Don’t try to “be more feminine” as this places you in an auditioning role where you perform/behave a certain way to fit into a box or other’s expectations for external validation. And pretending to be someone you’re not authentically is not how you’ll find the right, ideal partner who loves you for you! Inside of my DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE the blueprint will show you how to shift from “Get a man” focus to “Get a partner who aligns”.
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: We’ve been spending so much time together! Doesn’t that mean we’re building towards something more serious?
MEL FACT: Unfortunately, no it doesn’t. This in fact is exactly how trauma bonds are formed. The longer you stay emotionally attached to the wrong/toxic partner the harder it will be to get unstuck and move on from the relationship, even if things never progressed to getting more serious. It’s not how much time you spend together, it’s HOW you spend the time you do have together that matters most. My blueprint provides a detailed timeline for how you should be spending your time before making the important decision of going exclusive, all in as little as 2 months and often even before the first date!
MEL FACT: You’ve seen the reality TV shows like “Married At First Sight” or any other series that uses a therapist and/or matchmaker to put couples together. So, you know firsthand that majority of those setups don’t end up working, although we may enjoy watching the train-wreck unfold for entertainment! The truth is there’s a bit more that goes into creating healthy relationships, and at the end of the day you alone can make the ultimate decision on whether or not you’ve met the right match. Not your therapist. Not a matchmaker. In the case of a matchmaker, I’ve found most are basically using your love “resume” to put you on blind dates then leaving you alone to figure out how to progress things forward on your own. Trust me, just going on more dates is NOT making progress in the right direction (we cover this inside of my blueprint)!
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: If I sign up for dating apps and stay consistent, I’ll eventually find my life partner.
MEL FACT: While I do advocate for using dating apps as a great tool to connect with a wider range of potential partners, let’s be honest. It can feel overwhelmingly like opening Pandora’s box! You have so many “options” to wade through, so many toads to kiss, and many of us feel utterly burnt out having the same going nowhere small talks or same going nowhere experiences with a number of different men. It takes a toll on your mental and emotional health when you’ve put so much effort and still end up disappointed at the lack of quality experiences. Remember, dating apps are just one tool you can use, but you still need to learn how to use this tool effectively. This is also covered in detail inside of my blueprint.
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: “I need a roster of men to find “the one.”
MEL FACT: First, having a roster puts your focus on the wrong thing . . . . You focus on quantity over quality. Not to mention the fact you’re objectifying men and that’s not exactly a great start or proper way to vet for your future life partner/husband! If you’re focused on maintaining a roster of men you’re similar to dating apps, you may find yourself not getting past the surface. The key here is to ask yourself “Is my connection with this man adding value to my life or just taking up space?” Rosters run you the risk of settling for a bunch of placeholders and missing your shot at your ideal partner. In this sense, a placeholder roster man is the kind of man you may spend time with, but the relationship isn’t really progressing towards anything serious. That’s where my vetting and qualifying tools inside of the DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT will help you only invest your time in quality men, not placeholders.
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: I need to work on being more feminine.
MEL FACT: I believe your femininity is your personal, unique brand of confident sexy. You may not define that or looking/feeling your best by social expectations of a woman wearing red lipstick and high heels. Don’t try to “be more feminine” as this places you in an auditioning role where you perform/behave a certain way to fit into a box or other’s expectations for external validation. And pretending to be someone you’re not authentically is not how you’ll find the right, ideal partner who loves you for you! Inside of my DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE the blueprint will show you how to shift from “Get a man” focus to “Get a partner who aligns”.
MISCONCEPTION/MYTH: We’ve been spending so much time together! Doesn’t that mean we’re building towards something more serious?
MEL FACT: Unfortunately, no it doesn’t. This in fact is exactly how trauma bonds are formed. The longer you stay emotionally attached to the wrong/toxic partner the harder it will be to get unstuck and move on from the relationship, even if things never progressed to getting more serious. It’s not how much time you spend together, it’s HOW you spend the time you do have together that matters most. My blueprint provides a detailed timeline for how you should be spending your time before making the important decision of going exclusive, all in as little as 2 months and often even before the first date!
YOU PLAN FOR EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, YOU CAN PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE PARTNER TOO!
I think the “Be a queen, wear your crown” fuzzies are overplayed at this point. You’ve been told to “know your worth” and “don’t settle”, but what exactly does that look like when you’re interacting with men? Too many times women are relying on a hope and prayer to “someday” find their husbands, but there’s a verse that also says “faith without works is dead!”
Inside my DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT you’ll learn the “works” piece and be able to confidently apply it to your love life! This is the way it was meant to be faith + works will bring you RESULTS in your love life that you’ve only been able to dream or hope for until now.
My blueprint is designed so that you’re no longer wasting months or years making a confident decision on whether or not your spending time falling in love with the right man.
Remember, I’m here to put you in the driver’s seat of your love life and here are some of the tools I use to do that!
Inside my DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT you’ll learn the “works” piece and be able to confidently apply it to your love life! This is the way it was meant to be faith + works will bring you RESULTS in your love life that you’ve only been able to dream or hope for until now.
My blueprint is designed so that you’re no longer wasting months or years making a confident decision on whether or not your spending time falling in love with the right man.
Remember, I’m here to put you in the driver’s seat of your love life and here are some of the tools I use to do that!
HERE ARE THE ACTIONABLE TOOLS YOU’LL GET INSTANTLY
- My Date Ready assessment to ensure you’re ready and emotionally available to date with confidence and efficiency.
- Detailed blueprint to make you knowledgeable on how to use your season of singleness to prepare for dating and how to stop wasting time with the wrong men in your season of dating. You are in the driver’s seat!
- Detailed timeline and qualifiers to know whether or not your dating process is working effectively. Knowing what to do when and the signs to look for at each stage is vital to ensuring your progress or ending things before it goes too far
- Blueprint and strategies for how to stop begging, nagging, or giving men ultimatums. No more stressing about getting what you want from men!
- Access to an online community of women on the same journey
- Additional mentorship/training/meetup opportunities with Mel (i.e. dating profile reviews/feedback)
The tools I provide are few, simple, and effective so as not to overwhelm or overcomplicate. Once you start using the tools you’ll have an excellent sense of direction in your dating life and the ideal partner that you’re looking for. You will transition from accommodating men and people pleasing/guilt tripping yourself to enjoying the dating process more as the goddess you are.
In addition, these tools not only teach you how to attract and get dates with more of the right men for you, you’ll also be learning the foundational building blocks of healthy relationships in order to sustain the connection once it’s been made.
My DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT tools make being passive about your love life and limiting beliefs fade away! Once you feel confident in making the first move and vetting properly you’ll become an active part of the equation in your love life. It’s time to stop downplaying your voice, needs, and desires. Stop being afraid to speak up for yourself. And go for what you want!
Within ONE week of completing my DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE one of the ladies met her ideal match on a dating app! He’s the PERFECT gentleman, taking her out on planned in advance thoughtful dates, successful, established business and family man, and just amazing all around chemistry! She was so shocked to have all of that happen so soon because she thought it would take MONTHS for her to find that level of connection!
You have to be ready ladies when you do meet your ideal match!
Lucky for her she had just gone through the challenge and had my blueprint, and me on call for additional 1:1 mentorship!
FAQs
What all do I get when I register for this?
You’ll receive instant access to 5 days live recorded trainings (expires after 30 days), a digital workbook with each day and tools laid out in detail (yours to keep forever), exclusive access to a private community with further access to live training/mentorship, meetups, & growth activities.
Do I have to use a dating app for this challenge?
While it’s not mandatory, it’s highly recommended unless you’re already a social butterfly who has no problems meeting and striking up conversations with random people wherever you go! I love dating apps because it allows you to not be limited to just who exists in your backyard. After all, we’re talking about finding your ONE special person in the sea of BILLIONS of potential matches!
What if I’m already in a committed relationship? How does this apply to me?
The DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT still applies if you are still in need of thoroughly vetting and making sure you and your current partner are truly compatible. It’s not uncommon for us as women to spend YEARS in the wrong relationship with the wrong man for all the wrong reasons. If you’re looking to be more confident in whether you’re investing your time and love into something that will stand the test of time, this blueprint will guide you!
Does this only work for a certain age group or demographic (i.e. single mom, divorced, LGBTQIA+)?
The DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT is for every woman, regardless of age as long as she meets the following criteria:
What if I’m still learning to heal? Do I need to be fully healed before I start dating?
The very first assessment tool you’ll find inside your DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT is going to be a self-assessment on whether you’ll want to focus more on your self-healing journey prior to dating. While healing is often a life-long constant journey, there is a certain level of healing and self-awareness you’ll want to establish otherwise dating can often prove more harmful to you self-esteem and confidence.
You’ll receive instant access to 5 days live recorded trainings (expires after 30 days), a digital workbook with each day and tools laid out in detail (yours to keep forever), exclusive access to a private community with further access to live training/mentorship, meetups, & growth activities.
Do I have to use a dating app for this challenge?
While it’s not mandatory, it’s highly recommended unless you’re already a social butterfly who has no problems meeting and striking up conversations with random people wherever you go! I love dating apps because it allows you to not be limited to just who exists in your backyard. After all, we’re talking about finding your ONE special person in the sea of BILLIONS of potential matches!
What if I’m already in a committed relationship? How does this apply to me?
The DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT still applies if you are still in need of thoroughly vetting and making sure you and your current partner are truly compatible. It’s not uncommon for us as women to spend YEARS in the wrong relationship with the wrong man for all the wrong reasons. If you’re looking to be more confident in whether you’re investing your time and love into something that will stand the test of time, this blueprint will guide you!
Does this only work for a certain age group or demographic (i.e. single mom, divorced, LGBTQIA+)?
The DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT is for every woman, regardless of age as long as she meets the following criteria:
- Ambitious, self-driven career woman whose dating/love life just hasn’t caught up to match, yet
- Actively dating for long-term commitment and/or marriage with her ideal life partner
- PICKY, because she knows her worth and she’s done settling for emotionally unavailable partners and riding the struggle love bus
- Committed to challenging herself outside of her comfort zone, self-growth, and her self-healing journey by actively doing the self-work (i.e. therapy)
- Maintains a positive outlook (though not delusional) in life
- Comfortable in her skin, owns her authentic identity, and just needs some guidance on how to productively use her single season/dating to attract her future life partner/husband
- Able to wield and actively apply the knowledge she’ll learn using this blueprint to create the love life she’s only ever been able to dream of . . . until now.
What if I’m still learning to heal? Do I need to be fully healed before I start dating?
The very first assessment tool you’ll find inside your DATE SMARTER BLUEPRINT is going to be a self-assessment on whether you’ll want to focus more on your self-healing journey prior to dating. While healing is often a life-long constant journey, there is a certain level of healing and self-awareness you’ll want to establish otherwise dating can often prove more harmful to you self-esteem and confidence.
IF YOU’RE READY TO GET OFF THE STRUGGLE LOVE BUS, STOP GOING ON DEAD-END DATES, GET IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT OF YOUR LOVE LIFE. ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU HOW
- If it’s time to stop feeling like you’ll never find love / it’s not possible for you…
- If you’re ready to go on dates that leave you feeling loved + cherished + excited for the next one
- If you’re ready to start building towards something in your dating life…
- If you’re ready to confidently date and decide on a life partner (enroll now)
Grab your copy of the blueprint by enrolling in the DATE SMARTER CHALLENGE now!